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Last Comic Standing 7: The Final 5 revealed

And now, finally The Final 5 cylons, er, comedians in this seventh season of Last Comic Standing will be revealed and perform for your votes and $250,000 in cash and prizes from NBC. Oh, and almost just as importantly, as host Craig Robinson says up front, there's also the "Last Comic" theater tour.

Oh, we're going to find out right away. Jonathan Thymius is your and our sixth-place finisher.

Which means our Final 5 are Mike DeStefano, Myq Kaplan, Felipe Esparza, Tommy Johnigan and Roy Wood, Jr.

They get to be on tour together "for the next 297 days," Robinson says. Wow. Just wow. Congrats, fellas! And by the way, for anyone who asked me before the season started (including at least one of the finalists),I pretty much nailed it on the head. Enough about me. It's about these five guys. Now time to go for the big prize...

First up is Roy Wood Jr., who gets a full refresher video for us to see glimpses of his journey from the first audition to the finals. Fun fact: He was arrested at 19, and discovered comedy as a coping mechanism. That was 1998. This is tonight. And tonight, Wood also opens up about how excited his drunk uncle is, even though he keeps plugging the wrong NBC show. He says Mississippi residents think everyone hates black people, which, well, Obama? Hey, look, Ryan Hamilton is in the audience smiling and clapping. Not because he likes or dislikes black people, but because he likes this black person, or because the director told the feed to switch to that camera operator. Most likely that last one. Meanwhile, Wood jokes about how he is not going to remember his married friend's dumb lie about hanging out in Puaberto Rico two years ago. And he closes with a bit about women trying to catch their men in the act. Judges? Andy Kindler says Wood keeps getting better and better, and tags his punchline about wristbands. Natasha Leggero tells him to stay single so he can wind up with a hot chick when he wins. Greg Giraldo also congratulates Wood. Looking good for Mr. Wood. But there are still four more comics to compete for your attention and affection.

Tommy Johnagin tells us he knew he wanted to be a comedian since he was a kid, and that his father has been supportive of him along the way. He's going back to the deep blue shirt with tie combo, we see, and lets us know he had a redneck uncle who stole a porta-potty. The dumbest thing he did, however, was visit a gynecologist for a sports physical, and he tells us all about that, which went on much longer than you would think something like that might happen in real life. There's also the time he hit a deer, and the woman sitting in his car yelled "Deer!" Solid stuff. Ixnay on the sweaty pits. Leggero says nice things about him finding jokes inside the jokes, and there goes your theory about her hating him. Giraldo calls him "a great comedian." Kindler says he cannot vote because he has a thermal fax machine, so instead, he'll make T-shirts for Johnagin to sell as merch?

Oh, hello adorable woman in the Lowe's commercial who looks even more adorable in the UCB Theatre basement all this past weekend during the Del Close Marathon. Wait. What?

Ron White: Behavioral Problems

Ron White has always been the least "Blue Collar" of the Blue Collar comedy crew, preferring to stand on stage in a suit with a cigar in one hand, a glass of scotch on the rocks in the other. And in Behavioral Problems, his new special that debuted on Comedy Central on Sunday night and comes out Tuesday on DVD, White demonstrates again how he thinks outside of that particular stereotypical comedy box. With his hair a little bit longer and his shape a little bit rounder, White also addresses his arrest in Florida last September, getting caught with "medicinal" marijuana after his private plane landed in Vero Beach for a series of gigs. "These cops drove past three meth labs and a dead hooker just to get there," White cracked. He also takes on Crown Paper for suing him over pointing out that the paper plant made his hometown stink, wants America to sell its military oceanfront property in south Florida to the Jews, loves the bidet in his Seattle hotel, and closes out his hour with jokes about having sex in his 50s. Over at CMT, a blogger asked if Ron White was "Southern" anymore. Does that matter?

Here's how White sees more than a little of himself in the late Norman Mailer:

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Ron White - Norman Mailer
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