the comic's comic

Apply to be Pauly Shore's personal assistant if you're nuts (about him)

Being a personal assistant to a famous person is almost like being famous yourself, except more crazy and less fun. You find yourself in impossibly weird situations and having to do all of the busywork that results from it. But what do I know? I've never been a personal assistant to a celebrity. I do know people who have been personal assistants. And I once talked to Sean Combs (he's still going by Puffy Puff Daddy P. Diddy Diddy, right?) on the phone about his decision in 2007 to ask anyone and everyone to apply to become his personal assistant.

And now Pauly Shore wants you to be his.

Assistant, that is. TMZ has the application. Read it carefully. Turns out you need to be a fan of the Weasel, know his movies, and perhaps more importantly, know people in the business.

If Pauly's starpower is anything like it was the last time I was in close personal contact with him, in 2004, then you'll also find yourself in some impossibly weird situations.

What's weirder: Pauly Shore's upcoming Vegas show at the Palms, or the fact that you could open for him?

When I saw this poster for Pauly Shore's "Vegas Is My Oyster" show at Palms Las Vegas, I didn't quite know what to make of it.

OK. So. Obviously Pauly isn't carrying the show, because he's getting help from Andy Dick, April Macie, Tom Green, Dave Navarro (wait a second, he's not a comedian), Amber Lancaster (?), Michelle "Bombshell" McGee (WTF?!?!? The Nazi tattoo lady who broke up Sandra Bullock's marriage?), Maz Jobrani, Bobby Lee, Faizon Love, Carrot Top, Charlyne Yi. OK. I'm not even done with the names, and my head is still spinning imagining all of these people back in the green room as one collective.

But that's not the weirdest part. The weirdest part is the Palms is holding a contest for comedians that gives one of you the chance to join this shindig with a five-minute slot of your very own onstage at the show on Jan. 9, 2011. Complete with airfare, ground transportation and a two-night stay at the resort! How would you like them apples? They're also giving away four other pairs of tickets.

Go here to enter the contest: http://on.fb.me/weezsweeps

And if you win, please tell me ALL about it. I mean everything.

Pauly Shore sues his brother over who's minding The Comedy Store

Pauly Shore filed a lawsuit on Monday against his brother, Peter, over actions involving the family's treatment of the comedy family's matriarch, Mitzi Shore, and the ownership of The Comedy Store. RadarOnline talked to patriarch Sammy Shore about it yesterday, and posted the Shore family lawsuit online (misspelling Pauly's name as Pauley!). It looks like nasty stuff -- family lawsuits always are, it seems -- and among the business contentions, Pauly alleged that Peter tried to (or did) have him removed from The Comedy Store's board of directors.

Sammy tried to put the best spin on it for Radar, telling them: “When there is a family business there’s always gonna be problems,” Sammy explained. “This law suit is just a family feud. It will be over in a few weeks, I’m sure of it.” Pauly's reps told the tabloid mag that "this is a personal family matter that will be handled privately."

Pauly previously had tried making the family business very public through his reality TV series, Minding The Store, which had a brief run on TBS in 2005.