the comic's comic

What can't you do in an Apple Store? Mark Malkoff investigates

Seriously. What can't you do in an Apple Store? In his latest video stunt for My Damn Channel, Mark Malkoff investigates, and finds out that these geniuses will let him get away with pretty much anything.

Roll the clip!

 

Can anyone get six-pack abs in 30 days? Mark Malkoff's latest video challenge for My Damn Channel

Michael Sorrentino's nickname is a misnomer: Having a washboard stomach is not "The Situation." Having a gut is.

Mark Malkoff didn't quite have a gut when he started his latest video challenge for My Damn Channel, but he did feel like most people who see people with six-pack abs and wonder: Could I have six-pack abs, too?

Says Malkoff: "Men's magazines always have headlines reading, 'Get Six-Pack Abs in 30 days.' I wanted to see what a regular guy who doesn't work out would have to subject himself to in order to look like 'The Situation.'"

See what happened, after the jump!

What's faster transportation in NYC: An MTA bus, or a Big Wheel? Mark Malkoff races across 42nd Street

This technically isn't a Big Wheel, or they've dramatically changed the popular children's toy since I had a Big Wheel. But still. Mark Malkoff has issued some fun and silly challenges in the past. Lived in an IKEA. Lived on an airplane. Lived in his bathroom without any access to technology. Got across Manhattan by having people carry him.

Now he has challenged New York City's MTA bus system by racing a bus across Midtown Manhattan on a "Big Wheel."

Place your bets!

 

Mark Malkoff spends "5 Days in the Bathroom." In Part 1, he's already looking for a way out!

Mark Malkoff recently spent five straight days in his bathroom. On purpose. Got quite a bit of publicity for it, because he's got a knack for these wacky stunts. See my previous report on Malkoff.

But as we see in Part 1 of his My Damn Channel series, "5 Days in the Bathroom," Malkoff already finds himself halfway out the window at one point. He has gone bonkers, I tells ya. Bonkers! Roll the clip.

Mark Malkoff kicks off My Damn Channel partnership with five days of technology silence

Mark Malkoff has generated plenty of attention before with his sociological stunts -- in January, I wrote about his attempt to traverse Manhattan from south to north only through the kindness of strangers carrying him along the way. Previously, Malkoff has visited and consumed purchases at all 171 Starbucks locations in Manhattan within 24 hours, lived in an IKEA in New Jersey for a week, and spent a whole month on an AirTrans Airways plane to get over his fear of flying.

For his first achievement on his own channel on My Damn Channel, Malkoff is attempting something simpler, yet perhaps more difficult in this day and age, particularly for someone with an Internet channel. About an hour ago, he entered his own bathroom, and plans to stay in there until 10 a.m. Saturday. No Internet. No email. No Facebook. No Twitter. And also: No TV. No laptop. No iPhone. No news sites. At least he has his bathroom, right? He also has his wife, Christine, who can relay emergency messages to him, but also, I suppose, tempt him with information from the world outside of the bathroom.

Mark tells me he compiled a to-do list of things he has been putting off, that now, finally, he may be able to accomplish during a five-day stint in his bathroom. He wrote to me before entering his sanctuary: "A few of the things include memorizing the location of every country in the world, learning how to play “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” on guitar, reading “Gravity’s Rainbow”, and writing a love letter to his wife."

This is the first of several stunts he has planned for the site. Malkoff told me he'll try to do one big thing a month. You can see video of his past experiments on the Mark Malkoff channel on My Damn Channel.

Here is a short promo he filmed before starting. The final results should appear on the site Sept. 8.

Do New Yorkers have heart and muscle? Mark Malkoff literally gets carried away, and uptown

Comedian/filmmaker Mark Malkoff first got everyone's attention three years ago when he attempted to visit and purchase an item in each of the 171 Starbucks locations in Manhattan. Malkoff followed that up by living and sleeping in an actual IKEA store in New Jersey for a week. In 2009, he spent a month on an AirTran airplane to conquer his fear of flying, and later, with the corporate help of Ford, drove around America doing whatever he could to get as many ceremonial "Keys to the City" as he could.

So what's he up to this time?

Malkoff's latest task was much simpler, which, naturally, made it much more difficult to accomplish. His task: Traverse the length of Manhattan, from the southern tip of the island north. Not by subway, by taxi, by bus nor even by foot -- but on the backs, shoulders and arms of his fellow New Yorkers. Yes. You got it. Malkoff wanted to test the kindess of New Yorkers -- they're not really that rude and mean, are they? -- by asking them to carry him uptown. He did this over the course of two cold and snowy days in December. Seemingly helping his case: He's not that big (130 pounds), and he had a microphone and a cameraperson with him, so the innocent bystanders knew they were being filmed, although not necessarily for what.

Let's roll the evidence.

In the end, Malkoff convinced 155 people (and a couple of friends via Twitter when he felt most helpless in his cause) to haul him 188 city blocks (9.4 miles) from the Staten Island Ferry terminal north via Broadway to the corner of Broadway and 141st Street.

"All I did was ask people if they'd be willing to carry me, which they did," he says. "To me, that proves the people of New York are indeed a friendly bunch."