the comic's comic

Comic Strip Marathon: Post #9 Dave Attell addresses the insomniacs

Dave Attell took the stage at 3:50 a.m. and it seemed perfectly natural. The former host of Comedy Central's Insomniac has the audience of about 60 fans and staff howling. "I'm so glad I got to be here the first night, before you get to reek and stink, and we'd owe the whole thing to Baby Wipes and Purel," he said, although I might not be exactly sure of the wording because I'm laughing too hard and long to get it down before he moves on to the next joke. Attell is mocking us for attempting a world record for a comedy show. You know, instead of doing something important with our time. "Global warming? F#%& that! Let's sit in a comedy club for 15 days!" he said. Has it been that long already?

Comic Strip Marathon: Post #8 Firsts

I've now been here so long that my computer automatically updated my Flash player and Windows systems, then rebooted. What better time to look at some other firsts in this marathon...

First comedian wearing a suit: 1:51 a.m. Wednesday, Pat Dixon

First Red Bull I consumed during the marathon: 2:09 a.m. Wednesday

First time a majority of the audience stopped paying attention: 2:16 a.m. Wednesday, during a transition when host William Stephenson announced to the shuffling crowd, "I could say anything right now. Y'all not listening. I've got ball rash."*

First bathroom break for me: 3:33 a.m. Wednesday

First time I got to breathe fresh air since entering the building: 3:35 a.m. Wednesday

Did you know it's raining outside? Good thing I'm wearing pants. Why am I wearing pants? Why does anyone wear pants? This is getting off-topic. Next post.

*This was not, however, the first time a comedian mentioned problematic and/or rashy balls.

Comic Strip Marathon: Post #7 Nick Swardson

I spy Nick Swardson through one of the windows that peers backstage. He best start messing with some Zohan. If you know what I mean.

Comic Strip Marathon: Post #6 Go Long

Five hours down, and yet, that's really only one-tenth of the way home. The wall behind me hums and vibrates against my back, gently soothing (plus) yet also making me feel dangerously sleepy (minus minus!). The audience is thinning and shuffling. Some customers just moved from the back to the front. I've heard from Jim David and Dean Edwards, who reminded us all that "this is the first time a comedy club has told comedians you can go longer." Kevin Brennan is making Ku LOL very loudly and often, so much so that he wonders if it's a fake laugh. "I'll take it!" Brennan said. Not to worry. Ku's laugh may be loud, but it's real and sincere. Earlier in his set, though, Brennan yells at the crowd. "Just relax...we're trying to set a record, not have a good show!" Interesting point. My body feels like it's in a Sharper Image chair. I'm hearing voices. Is that Gollum as a woman? No, it's Al Ducharme. Some dude brought a pillow. Why didn't I think of that?

Comic Strip Marathon: Post #5 LOLs!

Jeffrey Ross explained a porn joke to one of the young Aussie lasses in the front row and made her snort Long Island Ice Tea out of her nose. Fist bump! "If I do it a second time, do I get my own record?" Ross asked. We'll have to look that up.

Judah Friedlander, hilarious for 24 straight minutes, and right out of the gate, told us: "I just saw the worst movie ever. 'The Charlie Sheen Story,' starring Emilio Estevez."

Comic Strip Marathon: Post #4 Hour 3 of 50

Judy Gold gets dismayed by all of the foreigners in the crowd, but only because it's making her work harder for her crowd work. She plows through nevertheless. Gold tells a joke about seeing an Asian baby...with Asian parents...as comedian Esther Ku (as seen on this year's Last Comic Standing) approaches my corner. Kismet! Two brothers sit down and please Gold by telling her they're from Short Hills, NJ. They please me when they say they heard about this show from Time Out magazine. Bing bong!

Stephenson vows to host the entire 50 hours. Will we both make it for the duration?

Jeffrey Ross is taping an hourlong Comedy Central special this Saturday at The Borgata in Atlantic City (and my friends at Comedy Central Insider inform us that you can save $15 online by using the promo code ROASTMASTER), so he'll be ready to shoulder the load for a while as we approach the three-hour mark in this adventure. He opens with a solid zinger. "How about a hand for all of the comedians who won't be showing up...Chris Rock (audience laughs)...Jerry Seinfeld (more laughs)." But he hits a roadblock trying to engage the Guinness record watcher/verifier in the audience. Instead, the Guinness guy says, "On with the show!" To which Ross replies, "OK, well I guess I'll just f$%& myself, then." He does, however, get on with the show.

Comic Strip Marathon: Post #3 Scotch, please!

The energy in the room is hot. Thank Joe Matarese and Wali Collins for that. They knocked down 46 minutes between them talking about relationships and explaining New York City to the out-of-towners in the crowd. I'm mostly focused on how that first Red Bull is still hitting me. And now the 10 o'clock hour is going strong with Chuck Nice, who you may know best as host of The Sizzler segment on VH1's Best Week Ever. "Welcome to the comedy gang bang!" Nice exclaims. He jokes that to get through these days and nights, we'll need a lot of meth. Really, though, he just wants some liquor. He wonders if he can order an Amstel Light from the stage. Yes. Yes, he can. "Can I get a scotch, too?" he asks. He might as well, as a black guy, he says he must have a scotch, too. "It's like peanut butter without the jelly!" As I type this, Nice is bumping and jumping and screaming onstage, describing the loud girl in a group you see out at night. The audience is liking this. It is 10:14 p.m., so far into what could be my own best week ever. Time will tell.

Comic Strip Marathon: Post #2 Gregg Rogell

8:48 p.m. Stephenson introduces the first comedian to the stage. It's Gregg Rogell: "It's good to be here. I was a little late today...I got hit by a crane." Too soon? Nope. Just right. Especially in this neighborhood. But then Rogell makes a joke about Hillary Clinton not leaving the presidential campaign...that joke is about to expire in 3...2...1...

Comic Strip Marathon: Post #1 And so it begins...

People have filed in and filled the club. It starts with a technical glitch in the booth, then fanfare, then host William Stephenson. So far, except for Stephenson saying something upfront about the record attempt (explaining his casual wardrobe and the Red Bull fridge onstage), it seems like just about any regular comedy club show. With me here in the side balcony corner, we've got Las Vegas Weekly's Julie Seabaugh, blogging for Time Out NY, and a reporter from The Sun. Stephenson told me he'll also me keeping notes on a Facebook group devoted to the effort. This is a 50-hour show, but since I've already been up for 11 hours, this is officially a 61-hour marathon for me. Oh. My. If any medical journals want to monitor me for the impacts of Red Bull on a malnourished and fatigued body, you know where to find me. "This is going to be a long f$%&ing 50 hours!" Stephenson just told the audience. You're telling me.