the comic's comic

SNL #36.9 RECAP: Host Paul Rudd, musical guest Paul McCartney

As I thought about this weekend's episode of Saturday Night Live with host Paul Rudd and musical guest Sir Paul McCartney, I couldn't help but think a bit more about last week's mysterious mess with Robert DeNiro. DeNiro has been a bit of a dud before, while Rudd was great when he first hosted two winters ago (the week Abby Elliott and Michaela Watkins joined the show, and Justin Timberlake made a cameo with Beyonce and the boys for their Single Ladies dance!). I wondered if any cast or writers held back their better pitches last week, knowing this week was coming. I also began to wonder, if they really wanted to get a host to promote Little Fockers, well, they had Ben Stiller there -- but wouldn't it have been that much greater to see Dustin Hoffman host SNL??? It's a rhetorical question, because the answer is an obvious yes. How come that hasn't happened yet?

And as I got to thinking, I also realize fully now that this is Bill Hader's season. I haven't crunched any numbers, but my own memories of this fall's episodes reminds me that Hader, more than anyone else in the cast, has held court with his multiple celebrity impersonations (and Stefon) and by more literally holding court as the host of various game show and talk show sketches. Kristen Wiig hasn't been nearly as dominant, at least compared to last year, and whereas Fred Armisen, Andy Samberg and Kenan Thompson still get their fair share of face time, Hader is the glue holding this season together, such that it is.

But enough wondering. Let's get to the SNL All-Paul edition recap!

 

The cold open could not have been colder. I imagine the premise pitch went like this: President Obama has Stockholm Syndrome! Get it? And yet, in what felt like several minutes, I kept waiting to hear something resembling a punchline, and kept getting the sense that Fred Armisen was going through the motions of his impersonation. You can argue that someone with "Stockholm Syndrome" would seem like a zombie. And yet. And yet. There was barely any comedy in this sketch.

 

The monologue, on the other hand, was delightful, as host Paul Rudd had a misunderstanding with Sir Paul McCartney, and then featured player rookie Paul Brittain finally had his own chance to shine. Short and sweet!

 

That philosophy continued into the ad spoof slot, which didn't try to do too much. Establish your premise. Execute cleanly. Get out. You want gourmet cat food? We'll give you gourmet cat food! (Spoiler alert: It's still cat food)

 

And then there's the Vogelchecks. Otherwise known as the kissing family that kisses a little too often and a little too passionately with each other. We all know that SNL always has loved building recurring sketches and characters, but in recent seasons, it feels as though the writers aren't as creative in putting these characters into new and different situations. Instead, it has become more of a lazy cut-and-paste script situation. With the Vogelchecks, I do recall the kissing family got a bit weirder than usual during the Zach Galifianakis episode when they had them kissing during a funeral. But what did we get this time? An elderly aunt and uncle from Romania with their own style of kissing? A random and unexplained grabbing of Santa's jingle balls? And when Armisen's patriarchal character decided to explain to Vanessa Bayer's hesitant visiting girlfriend what the kissing was all about, there was absolutely zero payoff. Why didn't you have a payoff? Remember when Christopher Walken explained the importance of a wristwatch in Pulp Fiction? Now that was a payoff. This sketch: Nope. Just the same ol' appeal to audience freak outs and shriek outs from men open-mouth Frenching each other. At least the gum was a switch. Sort of. Otherwise, I'm done with the Vogelchecks. This isn't so much a recurring sketch as it is an idea that audiences have completely forgotten past Vogelcheck sketches, so this is somehow new to them. I suppose for the most casual viewer, that is nevertheless true. For me, though, this is merely ho-ho-hum.

 

The situational comedy improved significantly after a commercial break, when "What's That Name?" a game show cut from a previous episode's dress rehearsal, found its way into the live show. Hader plays the host, while Rudd and Bayer are contestants who must correctly identify the identities first of celebrities, and then of people they encounter on a daily basis. Like the doorman. Or the woman who cleans your office. Or your summer interns. The doorman example might be a bit NYC-specific, but the premise on the whole is so spot on. Loved it! "Say hi to the wife for me."

The SNL Digital Short started as if it were going to be a 9-to-5 parody, and then turned into something much sillier and cheerful, as most of the more absurd Lonely Island shorts are. We also got our second appearance by Sir Paul McCartney, who performed not one but two little ditties. This video isn't online yet, as they have to clear the music rights for the popular melodies that were used here. Soon, though, we hope! Stumblin!

SNL #36.8 RECAP: Host Robert DeNiro, musical guest Diddy-Dirty Money

If Saturday Night Live welcomes back one of America's iconic award-winning actors as a returning host, and adds a couple of surprise cameos from big-name comedians, then we can just pretend that on paper, this would have been a great episode and forget that they actually aired the thing. Right?

But that's why we play the games. Oops. Sorry. Focused a little bit on sports and ESPN recently. The mixed metaphor still applies here, though, because, no disrepect to Robert DeNiro and SNL, but maybe they shouldn't keep asking him back if he cannot do the job of reading lines on live TV, or if they cannot do the job of writing cue cards in big enough letters for him to read them properly. Really, Seth and Amy?!? OK, just Seth. OK, just Lorne, then.

 

The episode actually got off to a solid start, with a misdirect cold open message from President Barack Obama (and yes, still played by Fred Armisen, so just groan and bear it) interrupted almost immediately by Julian Assange (Bill Hader), the guy responsible for WikiLeaks. But this turns out to be a misdirect, as Assange is heading up a new made-for-TV version called WikiLeaks: TMZ. I try not to watch and thereby support the TV version of TMZ, because in doing so, we're all encouraging the paparazzi to attack anyone anywhere anytime. That said, I did recognize the guy Andy Samberg was trying to play. Armisen shows up as Gaddafi with Kristen Wiig on his arm, DeNiro plays Harmid Karzai, Vanessa Bayer plays Hillary Clinton with an upskirt, and there are roles, albeit minor for Kenan Thompson, Bobby Moynihan, Paul Brittain, Jay Pharoah, Nasim Pedrad and Jason Sudeikis as Joe Biden.

 

Robert DeNiro's monologue was passable, with the premise being that he can say whatever he wants to say about NYC and get away with it, because who's going to challenge him on it? Not some pesky SNL writer posing as an audience member! Although there's a warning sign already due to lack of emotion as DeNiro reads his lines.

 

Fake ad time! Have you ever seen a TV ad for a book written by a best-selling thriller writer? They're weird. So is this one, which poses DeNiro as Harlan Kane, the author of a series of books poking fun at such thrillers and their premises. Can't wait to find out what happens in "The Pokemon Directive." Not sure about that closing line, though. Maybe if the VO (by Higgins!) said it instead of DeNiro? I don't know. Moving on.

We see in the ad break that Pedrad is going over the dance moves with Bayer for "What Up With That." Ooh. Eee.

 

OK. What's up with What Up With That? And by that, I mean, Kenan Thompson sings "What's up with that?" in the lyrics, but the sketch is clearly "What Up With That." Also: Why would you have DeNiro up the ante by putting the brakes on Thompson's singing, and then not actually heighten the sketch? Will Sudeikis catch his track-suit pants before they fall down as he dances? Is Robin Williams reading cue cards or improvising? How many hairdos does Shasta Taffy have up her hairline? Why would Robin Williams tease us about Twitter if he does not have a Twitter account? Big tease!

 

Here is where things really got roughage. DeNiro as "Mr. Produce" reminded me of the Tony on WCBS-TV here in NYC who has a regular produce segment on the local news, except the real-life Tony never is at a loss for words and doesn't have to work with his son, played by Samberg as a guy who responds to questions with questions. Did you like when DeNiro slipped and called Samberg "Andy"? How about when he then stopped and stumbled over his next lines? The only time he seemed in his element was when he was throwing produce off-screen. Then he found some sort of rhythm.

 

It's an SNL Digital Short, and it would appear that Samberg, Hader and DeNiro are re-enacting the surprisingly popular 1989 film Weekend At Bernies, but with a twist. A couple of twists! Is that enough for you? Or were you hoping for something a little more original? Someone in my Twitter feed just joked that SNL has officially become MADtv. Rut-ro. Are you going to sit there and take that zinger? No, you're not. You're going to come right back with a great holiday show thanks to Paul Rudd and Paul McCartney, that's what you're going to do!

SNL #36.7 RECAP: Host Anne Hathaway, musical guest Florence and the Machine

We've been up, we've been down, but we are strong, heartache to heartache we stand, ready to recap another episode of Saturday Night Live. Anne Hathaway gets her second chance to host the show. She's a lovely young actress, who in her new movie that comes out this month, takes off her clothes a bunch of times and hops in the sack with Jake Gyllenhaal. That's something I can support without feeling too worried about if I were her boyfriend. Which I'm not. Probably not ever. So let's not try to dwell on that. Instead, let's see if SNL can do something memorable this week.

 

We start political, but from the TV side, as Abby Elliott -- remember her? -- gets to kick things off playing MSNBC anchor Rachel Maddow. Bill Hader plays probable new Speaker of the House John Boehner of Ohio, and although Elliott's Maddow will make a quip about his orange skin, someone forgot to tell SNL's lighting and makeup people to orange up Hader's face. Someone should tell them! Kristen Wiig plays outgoing Speaker Nancy Pelosi, and proves once again that she shines when she's not playing so over the top. And Kenan Thompson plays embattled NYC Congressman Charlie Rangel, who asked for an ethics trial only to show up last week without a lawyer. That guy. Anyhow. It spreads out the political jokes. But you know who likes these political cold opens? Political junkies. And do you know who likes political junkies? Nobody. Wiig's selling the sketch on facial expressions alone, while Rangel gets laughs confusing Maddow for a boy or young man. Don't worry, Rachel. It gets better?

 

Hathaway's monologue acknowledges her multiple nude scenes (and her "nude" cover of EW) with some parodies of such. Cast members come up to her with subsequent changes to sketches -- but will we get to see a "boardroom sketch" with Andy Samberg, or a "Turkey family sketch" with Bobby Moynihan, or a "funeral sketch" with Thompson? Reading too much into this. It closes with a different joke, which plays upon family Thanksgivings, but also kinda weird considering Hathaway's past, don't you think? Anyhow...

 

Fake ad slot for the win, with the TSA groping procedure turned into a dating ad. "Do you want to feel contact in certain special places?" Nice. Wiig, Elliott and Nasim Pedrad play the ladies looking to touch you, while Hader, Thompson and Moynihan play the actual TSA airport agents. Way to be on top of it.

 

Well, what do you know, a newbie cast member gets a recurring character, as Vanessa Bayer returns for a second go-around of "The Miley Cyrus Show." Pretty cool! Jason Sudeikis now sits in with the band as Billy Ray Cyrus (he had been played by guest host Bryan Cranston the first time), with Moynihan still in as the band's silent drummer. "Well, as you probably heard, I'm sexy now!" Miley's guest is Katie Holmes, and where in the world did Hathaway pull out this impersonation?!?! A. Maz. Ing. More than pretty cool. Looks like Taran Killam is behind the Batman suit in Miley's screen test. So far, so good, SNL.

Side note: Always curious to see how advertisers try to make special parody ads of their own ads when they buy time during SNL. Rapunzhair? Moving on.

SNL #36.6 RECAP: Host Scarlett Johansson, musical guest Arcade Fire

Why does this season of Saturday Night Live feel like it's just missing a certain something? Or is it a certain someone? Cannot put my finger on it. Each week this fall, critics have pointed fingers at the show, claiming it lifted a sketch premise from this place or that place, or that it had too much Kristen Wiig, or not enough Kristen Wiig. You're not using the new kids! You're not using the new kids properly! Lonely Island's out. No, wait, they're still in! Up is down. Down is up. The funny sketches come later in the show after you've already tuned out. Tonight's episode spelled out everything that's not quite special about this season before the opening credits.

RECAP!

 

We opened cold with a CSPAN feed of President Obama and Chinese President Hu Jintao meeting at the G20 Conference. Fred Armisen, still, inexplicably, is playing Obama. Bill Hader is, for lack of an Asian cast member, playing Chinese. Nasim Pedrad (who is Iranian-American, points for that?) is translating. Their premise: The one thing Obama didn't talk with China about was the fact that the U.S. owes China $800 billion. If it all feels a little been there, done that, it's because they have been there and done that. And these long, ponderous political cold opens are no longer SNL's forte. Especially when they're lacking Will Forte, who played Hu Jintao in this same exact sketch last November. Meet the new sketch. Still as lackluster as the old sketch. SNL #36.6, meet SNL #35.7. It's one thing to have a recurring character. But a recurring cold open? That offers nothing new? Ugh. Strap in for a long haul.

Fun fact in the monologue: It's ScarJo's third time hosting. Did you know that? I'm going to call her ScarJo because trying to remember the spelling of Scarlett Johansson is too time-consuming, and you need that time for other things. Like writing jokes? She says she's keeping a low profile, but her hair is saying high-profile! Her monologue about celebutards is all prelude for her to sing a song from "Chicago." And get Kristen Wiig onstage as Dina Lohan. And Abby Elliott as Ke$ha. You didn't miss much. Presumably not online due to licensing rights for the tune.

 

In the post-monologue ad spoof spot, we're treated to a look at a new MTV series: "My Super Sweet 16 and Pregnant!" with a teen preggers ScarJo, and "America's Best Pregnant Dance Crew" hosted by "DILF" Mario Lopez (Andy Samberg) and a dance crew with Pedrad and Elliott, Nick Cannon's "Wild'N Out" is back (with Jay Pharaoh), and a new version of "Cribs" with Vanessa Bayer and a crib, and "I'm Snooki and Pregnant" with Bobby Moynihan returning as Snooki. MTV: Maternity Television. Snooki was good for a chuckle. But the video felt like it was going through the motions instead of going for it.

 

After our first ad break, it's another TV parody, this time of Bravo's "millionaire matchmaker," with ScarJo as the matchmaker (what's her name Patti) and Moynihan and Elliott as her assistants from the show. OK. Before I decide whether I like this sketch, let me just say that I really do appreciate the Internet nod (intentional or subtle) to Vanessa Bayer's real-life dating video submission by casting her in this scripted awkward one. "You look like  a visible fart," Patti says of her millionaire "Candace." Then out of nowhere comes her perfect match in Taran Killam. I felt like the point of this sketch was summed up in the end, when ScarJo told us, "Who knows? Who cares? Shut up!"

SNL #36.5 RECAP: Host Jon Hamm, musical guest Rihanna

Face it. When you heard Jon Hamm was hosting with Rihanna on Oct. 30, 2010, you figured this was a slam-dunk of a Saturday Night Live. Set the DVR, because even if you did happen to be in front of a television on Saturday night, you'd want to relive the memories. Hamm hit homers the first two times he hosted. How could the third time not be just as charming? And yet. Not his fault. But something wasn't quite right at times in the fifth episode of the thirty-sixth season. Maybe I'm holding Hamm's episodes up to too high of a standard too soon.

Let us not belabor the points. Let us recap and renumerate them.

 

In the cold open, Jason Sudeikis, as VP Joe Biden, made two points. 1) "When things can't get any worse, it's Biden time!" 2) "Don't be whiners, think about the miners." Which is to say, just because the Democrats cannot write their way out of this with a joke, it could be much, much worse. And Jon Hamm is hosting!

 

In the monologue, Jon Hamm mentions this is the second Halloween episode he has hosted. He also says he is becoming like Don Draper in thinking of ad campaigns, so let's watch him do that off the cuff with suggestions from audience members played by SNL cast members Bill Hader, Nasim Pedrad, Kenan Thompson and Andy Samberg. No problem, Hammer. Wham bam, thank you Hamm.

 

The Lonely Island is still working at SNL and proving it up at the top with the return of Rihanna and Shy Ronnie, this time in a music video in which they hold up a bank. Most of the cast appears in non-speaking parts as the bank employees and customers. I like it better stylized on tape than the earlier live version. Looking good. "Oh, no. Boner alert!"

Oooh. During the commercial break, we see we're getting another Vincent Price special. Should be good for some laughs.

 

In this installment set in 1960, Bill Hader continues to play Vincent Price. When Hamm appeared previously for Halloween, he impersonated James Mason. This time, he's JFK. No, not the airport. The dead president, sillies. Pedrad plays his date, Candy. Kristen Wiig plays a pill-popping Judy Garland. And there's Fred Armisen as Liberace again. Cue the sex jokes. Sex jokes are easy. That's what she said. See what I mean?

So far, s'ok. But wait, it gets better! Immediately better!

 

OK. This sketch is more like it. With Back to the Future celebrating 25 years, and the recent revelatory footage of Eric Stoltz, who starred before they decided he shouldn't star in it, a nice chance to see what other celebrities would have looked like in screen tests. But first, hey look! It's writer Colin Jost in front of the screen. And now, Hader as Al Pacino as Doc Brown. Jay Pharoah as Eddie Murphy as Marty McFly. Wiig as Jennifer Tilly as McFly's future mom. Bobby Moynihan as Sam Kinison. Small time-traveling problem with this one, since Kinison wasn't well-known in 1984. Robin Williams, was, though, and there's Hamm with an impersonation.

SNL #36.4 RECAP: Host Emma Stone, musical guest Kings of Leon

So much thrilling college football and playoff baseball went late into the night on Saturday, so much so that I barely noticed anyone talking about or even thinking about a new Saturday Night Live. Would this lack of buzz help or hurt the program? Let's find out!

 

About the cold open. We're close to midterm elections for Congress, and sure, that's news. But it's weird seeing a kid -- excuse me, young man -- play an old man from Nevada. It's even weirder seeing Jay Pharoah have to stand behind Fred Armisen for an entire sketch as Armisen does a Barack Obama impersonation that nobody cares about anymore, while Pharoah was hired solely based on his ability to do impersonations such as Obama! I spent so much time watching Pharoah's half-smiling silence for clues. Did you see him clap extra hard that one time? Oh, Vanessa Bayer also was called in for stand-in, clapping/smiling duty. Is there something I missed? Oh, what's that. Comedy. Oh. Right. Comedy. I missed the comedy in this sketch. U.S. Sen. Harry Reid will double-cross Obama for the sake of your votes. There was supposed to be a joke in there somewhere. Fun fact, though: Newbie Paul Brittain got to see "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!" So there was that. Now how about the rest of the show?

 

Emma Stone is 21 years old. Almost 22. She says, "I have wanted to be on this stage since I was a little girl." And now she is, and she is wearing old lady pantaloons. I don't know why. I first remember seeing her on a reality-show competition to find a new version of the Partridge Family. She also played the role of the cute, potentially attainable young girl in a couple of lighthearted comedy movies. I suppose somewhere in there, you can make the case that she could, would and should host a night of live, televised sketch comedy. The monologue posts fun at her fans being nerds who want to make out with her, with Kenan Thompson playing Nerd Audience Member Number One, Bill Hader as Nerd Audience Member Number Two, Andy Samberg as Nerd Audience Member Number Three, Bobby Moynihan and Taran Killam as Jonah Hill and Michael Cera (sort of). Voices better than looks.

 

Fake ad! Hader and Kristen Wiig are parents of a fat baby. Wait. Aren't all babies fat? So that'd mean all babies are in the market for Baby Spanx! Unless you realize that since all babies are fat, that means no babies are fat. Another dilemma solved. Thank you and good night. Also featured: Nasim Pedrad, Bayer, Thompson and Jason Sudeikis as the spokesman. Funny visuals, though. Oh, baby.

SNL #36.3 RECAP: Host Jane Lynch, musical guest Bruno Mars

Some people like to analyze Saturday Night Live so much that they forget that, for casual viewers young and old, it's just an entertaining way to wrap up a Saturday night at home in front of the television. They don't assign points to cast members. They certainly don't hit the pause button to take notes. They just sit back and laugh. Or not laugh.

Even in their own casual viewing experience, audience members at home are still critics, doing so by turning off the TV after Weekend Update, or turning to the friends and/or loved ones around them to say, "Oh, Gilly again?" or even by tuning out by having the show on in the background as their house party becomes more interesting than what's on the TV. Increasingly now there's even another subset of audience members for SNL who don't even watch the show on TV on Saturday, but rather log onto their computers on Sunday (or Monday) to seek out individual sketches online based on what they've read and heard their friends talk about, or just based on what gets their attention from a screencap and a headline.

I've been trying to think about all of these people, because I'm them. I am you. And I'm not just saying that to, in my own way, parody Christine O'Donnell's campaign ad. Although that works, too! No, no, I say it because I remember how I watched SNL as a kid, alone in my bedroom; as a college student, on the big screen with a couple of dozen friends in a common room; in an acquaintance's apartment during a Christmas party, avoiding small-talk by noticing Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg sing about their gifts in boxes, on a TV next to the acquaintance's Christmas tree; or at home last night, reclining on my sofa, while looking at the Twitter feed on my iPhone. Of course, none of these few hundred words tell you anything about what happened in the third episode of the thirty-sixth season of SNL. So let's get to recapping, shall we?

 

The soothing sound of Higbone's voice assures me that the cold open is not going to open cold on some dumb political message of the day. Oh, no. We open with a parody of attorney Gloria Allred, as played by Nasim Pedrad, taking potshots at herself by trying to defend her career as an attention-seeking attorney who defends people who are themselves attention-seekers. I've seen, we've all seen enough of Allred herself on the TV, but I don't think she's one of those people that really registers with people, not enough for us to go, oh her again. Which is to say, I didn't feel like looking up YouTube video of the real Allred to see if Pedrad nailed the impersonation. Not important to me. I just enjoyed seeing Pedrad take the piss out of Allred, and that it wasn't a dumb political cold open that already sent viewers looking for the remote control.

 

And now for our host, Jane Lynch! Lynch does look excited to be here, hosting SNL. You probably know her from her Emmy-winning turn as Sue Sylvester in Glee. She's the one who doesn't sing on Glee. So right off the bat, you know we're going to get to hear Lynch sing on SNL. In fact, we're going to get to hear Lynch sing multiple times on tonight's episode, and curiously, multiple times it's singing theme songs for things that don't have theme songs. Such as, well, Glee. Take it away, Jane! She gets spoken-word and guitar help from Fred Armisen. Jason Sudeikis shows up in a short permafro to fake the trumpet, which must make the real trumpeter in the background not so gleeful. Meanwhile, I'm curious who is playing her background dancers. I won't tell you which one is my favorite. But I definitely have one.

 

We go straight to our first videotaped ad spoof. It's a filter for when your mom becomes your Facebook friend. I get it. You get it. Even my mom probably gets it. And she's on Facebook. Or she was on Facebook. I don't think she's still on Facebook. That's how much my mom got this joke. Which is weird, mostly because I feel like this joke could have been done a season or two ago, but with the Facebook movie out this past weekend, maybe it's just the right time for this joke. Then again, SNL did do a mom-translating-technology sketch a season or two ago (Season 34, Episode 22: "Mom Translator"). Meanwhile, for you SNL trivia fans, in this sketch, Jane Lynch plays Andy Samberg's mom, and he isn't happy about it. Coming up in just a bit, she'll play his mom, and he's over the moon about it. She'll also play his maternal therapist in a dream sketch, which just weirds him out again. These two: Get a room! Am I right? No? I'm not right? Samberg does seem to be Lynch's favorite tonight. You just go ahead and try to prove me wrong. Bill Hader and Taran Killam get speaking roles in this ad spoof, too, you know!

SNL #36.2 RECAP: Host Bryan Cranston, musical guest Kanye West

Somewhere in New York City this afternoon, Seth Meyers and other cast members from Saturday Night Live are explaining themselves (again) as part of the New Yorker Festival. I feel like they've done this before, and not just because they have. They have.

Somehow I doubt they'll explain what happened last night. Although that'd be fun to hear them Sunday-afternoon quarterback their show. Almost as much fun as reading whatever I have to say right here, right now? No. Nothing could be that much fun. Especially now that everyone has convinced me how fun it is to assign points and power rankings. Oooh, boy. It's about to get mathematic up in this site! Let's get statistical...

Unfortunately, we're starting in negative territory with -40 points taken away from whomever decided Rahm Emanuel's departure from the White House Chief of Staff's job to run for mayor of Chicago was what everyone needed to see up top. Fred Armisen earns 3 points, one for each season he has tried to convince us that he can impersonate Barack Obama. Meanwhile, Fred lost 72 points, one for each second he was onscreen, distracting people by making viewers question why he's still Obama. Andy Samberg, as Emanuel, gets 10 points for getting to say "Live from New York, it's Saturday night!" Andy lost 1 point for making me focus on his jaw line. The whole sketch lost another 100 points for failing to have what's known in the business as jokes, but gained 200 points for inevitably getting this sketch talked about on all of the Sunday morning TV political shows -- which is, as far as I can tell, the only reason this sketch is on at all. Don't worry, Bobby Moynihan, we see you as Pete Rouse, all scared with the facial expressions as Emanuel's successor, which earned you 50 points.

Am I really doing this for every sketch? But first, the opening titles, since I didn't touch on them last week. Is it just me, or does it sound differently with 92-year-old Don Pardo recording the intros beforehand? And was it just me, or did anyone else notice that they introduced the featured players out of alphabetical order in the season premiere? Alrighty then. Let's go to the monologue!

Host Bryan Cranston shows off pics of him in his tighty-whitey underwears, then, before my friend in comedy journalism Dave Itzkoff can pick up his 100 bonus points for suggesting a Gilbert & Sullivan parody due to Aaron Sorkin's Facebook movie, we learn once again that 30 Rock is not Studio 60, and Rockefeller Center is not the Sunset Strip. We do, however, get a musical tribute. Raise your hands if you recognize the words and melody from Citizen Kane! OK, now put your hands in the air if you thought this came from The Simpsons! We're awarding 2 points each to Bill Hader, Kenan Thompson, Moynihan and Taran Killam for wearing the candy stripes, plus another 2 points for "singing" and "dancing" behind Cranston. Nasim Pedrad and Abby Elliott get 1 point apiece for all-too-brief candy-stripe cameos.

This point-scoring already is making me weary.

Fake Ad!

OK. So I get that Nasim Pedrad is supposed to look like a woman who goes clubbing, and perhaps even with a hint of Jersey Shore, so of course, those people are diarrhea in human form already. Give Killam and Andy Samberg points for appearing in the ad, too. But there's something missing from this "Pepto-Bismol Ice" spoof. Is it the lack of anyone "icing" Pedrad or Samberg on the dance floor? Or have we become so numb to the idea that human garbage produces human diarrhea that there's nothing in this to produce outrage in the form of laughter? Do not discuss. Just move on.

Because moving on, we find a great sketch out of a premise that did not portend greatness. Behold: "The Miley Cyrus Show."

Newcomer Vanessa Bayer has an infectious smile, and she manages to hold our attention portraying someone who should not hold our attention (and yet Cyrus herself did do that for a while, didn't she?), and pulls it off smoothly. Cranston does a serviceable job as papa Billy Ray Cyrus. But how amazingly awesome was it to see a sketch held together completely by SNL rookies! Paul Brittain disappeared into the role of Johnny Depp, and even though he played it straight, he played it great. We also saw Samberg stuck in a bad movie with Cyrus, and Moynihan as Billy Ray's drummer. Points awarded: 300 for Bayer! 250 for Brittain! 1 each for Moynihan and Samberg.

Oh, man. If you didn't FF through the commercials, you saw a quick shot of "What Up With That" being set up, and an old man helped up to the stage. The suspense! Also, those animated bumpers?!?

SNL #36.1 RECAP: Host Amy Poehler, musical guest Katy Perry, and many cameos from SNLs past

Thirty-six seasons, and despite any number of people who say "Saturday Night Live hasn't been funny since _____ ______ left the show," the show goes on and on and continues to be an iconic television program that not only generates talk in offices and schools the following Monday, but also continues to contribute to the national discussion on political and social issues.

I'm not sure anyone knew quite what to expect for the start of SNL's 36th season, considering its four new hires constituted the biggest addition to the cast since 2001, as well as what effect the departures (planned or unplanned) of veteran wild card Will Forte and newcomer Jenny Slate might have on the show's pre-existing recurring sketches. Perhaps knowing all of this -- as well as the lackluster starts offered in seasons 34 and 35 by world-famous but not necessarily funny hosts Michael Phelps and Megan Fox, respectively -- Lorne Michaels turned to a trusted former star of SNL in Amy Poehler to host the premiere. Of course, as we quickly learned, Michaels looked to ensure the premiere was even more of a sure thing by inviting back several of SNL's other recent bright stars for cameos both brief and extended. So. Let's get to recapping!

The cold open is a dish best served not political, at least on my comedy plate, because in the past few years, the sketch has not been able to surpass the surreal reality of the current political situation. Such was the case with this look inside the Republican National Committee headquarters for a sit-down meeting with Delaware GOP U.S. Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell. We have so much recorded quotes of O'Donnell already to speak to her craziness (and visuals to show how she even at times has modeled herself directly as a Sarah Palin lookalike (!)), so much so that even casting Kristen Wiig as O'Donnell cannot heighten this. In fact, Wiig's mugging detracts from the satire here. But. Fun fact: We get our first glimpse of newbie Vanessa Bayer, who utters a line to introduce O'Donnell. Jason Sudeikis and Bill Hader play the hapless GOP party-line guys.

Now for the monologue. Amy Poehler introduces all four of the new kids to the SNL block, then has a dream sequence in which Nasim Pedrad takes over one of her characters, Justin Timberlake kisses her, Rachel Dratch comes back only to get carried away -- "Avenge me! Avenge me!" -- and Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon take back Weekend Update, and Kenan Thompson plays Lorne Michaels with a nod to Inception. It's all for show, and for anyone who thinks it's too much of a gimmick, just remember that the season premiere is a big to-do each year, so why not go big!

Before we can get to the new kids, however, we're treated to more old-school SNL -- viewers of the Betty White and the all-star SNL women episode this spring will remember that putting on "greatest-hits" sketches generally leads to a well-liked evening -- so Maya Rudolph rejoined Poehler for another round of Bronx Beat. Of course, this time around, the focus is on musical guest Katy Perry and her "controversy" because she showed her cleavage in a Sesame Street video with Elmo. When is Katy Perry not showing cleavage? Wait, wait, don't tell me. I don't want to know. Poehler gets a good line guessing that Perry's bra size is 3D. Notice how Perry bounces up and down in her seat. Oh, wait. You probably already noticed that.

Time for our first fake ad of the season...

Jack Johnson gets in a bar fight with his SNL impersonator, Andy Samberg, in "At Or With Me"

Jack Johnson has known that Andy Samberg impersonated him on SNL with "The Mellow Show" for a couple of years now.

Today, Johnson has gotten his revenge on screen. Sort of. He did convince Samberg and his SNL Lonely Island buddies (Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone) to appear in his latest music video, "At Or With Me," and get into a barroom brawl. Yes, the title is a play on comedy. And yes, I have more for you than just the music video. Roll the video!

Jack Johnson and Andy Samberg also talk about the impression and backstory in this behind-the-scenes footage.

And here is one of "The Mellow Show" sketches from SNL for your further reference. Enjoy!

SNL #35.22 Season finale with Alec Baldwin, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

If I were to tell you that Saturday Night Live closed out its 35th season with a perfectly enjoyable episode, would you believe me? Of course you would. I'm very convincing. If I were to tell you that SNL's 35th season finale also produced little that'll show up years later on a "greatest hits" video, then, well, you'd probably believe that, too. After a 34th season that tapped into the American zeitgeist and brought the show back into the front and center of even the most casual viewer's minds, this season felt wildly inconsistent -- but leave it to Alec Baldwin, hosting for a record-tying 15th time, to bring it all home in timely fashion. Everybody got a chance to shine. Nobody dropped the ball nor did they even choose to announce their farewells. Just on with the show.

Let's begin with that cold open, shall we? SNL poked fun at the oil executives who cannot either accept the blame for BP's tragic oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, nor can they figure out how to stop it. All in under three minutes!?!? Short and to the point, with Bill Hader, Fred Armisen and Jason Sudeikis as the oil executives talking about their outrageously idiotic ideas for stopping the spill. Club soda gets everything out, right?

Then Baldwin came out for his monologue, and mentioning tying Steve Martin with his 15th hosting stint on SNL, you'd think Martin might be there. He has shown up plenty of times before for a cameo. This time, however, he's stuck on video. Considering Baldwin just delivered the commencement address to NYU students, why not also help this cast graduate for the summer? Let's hear it, "Dr. Alec Balwin, OB-GYN." Baldwin also referenced last week's Betty White episode, as well as a tacit acknowledgement of the difficulty of being a celebrity as well as the joys of finding success in a sitcom. Here's looking at you...

And we're right into the SNL Digital Short. No ads yet. Instead it's Andy Samberg with a song-and-dance routine that's as easy to figure out as the powdered mustache on his face. He's all coked up! Really. That's it. That's the whole premise. If you're looking for a plot twist, well, keep on looking. Or do some blow (don't do blow, kids or big kids, it's bad for you). The execution still manages some laughs, though.

And still no ads. Instead we're on the set of "Arizona Evenings," so obviously we're going to find a scene that satirizes Arizona's latest attempt to show how it's the least tolerant state in the union. By pushing forward another new wacky character from Kristen Wiig. Obviously. No, wait. What? So this is a TV melodrama, and Baldwin, Samberg, director Kenan Thompson, Bobby Moynihan and others are interrupted by the substitute script supervisor with big front teeth, Starfish (Wiig). Who cannot stop from walking into the shot. And it's only a two-line scene. How and why is her mouth in the shot? How and why is this happening? I'm sure there's a metaphor in here somewhere, and if you're not an avid watcher of SNL, it doesn't feel nearly as hard to swallow this whole.

OK. Now we have a commercial break.

SNL #35.21 Mother's Day all-stars with Betty White, Fey, Poehler, Rudolph, Dratch, Gasteyer, Shannon

Too many of my acquaintances were hyped up about this show before it ever went live, which to me, is always an ominous sign. With a live show such as SNL, you never really know what you're going to get until it happens, no matter how the rehearsals or the table reads go. And from what I had heard earlier in the week, with so many returning regulars guesting this week, my expectation was that we would see essentially a reunion of recurring characters. What would that leave for the actual cast to do, though? And how would 88-year-old Betty White fare as a host, anyhow? Or are we going to be pleased as punch if it was all reunions and putting naughty words in White's mouth? (Foreshadowing) Onto the All-Star RECAP!

We open cold with the Lawrence Welk (Fred Armisen) take on Mother's Day, so many tiny bubbles and a tease to the Jugglettes: Rachel Dratch, Tina Fey and Molly Shannon. Not a reference to the Juggalos so far as I know. OK, audience, cool it. Stop applauding just because you see Betty White alive. Here she's mother to the sister act of Janice (Amy Poehler), Peggy (Maya Rudolph), Clara (Ana Gasteyer) and tiny-handed big-foreheaded Judice (Kristen Wiig), who sing with Will Forte. Look. They got all of the old ladies in the open with one of Wiig's crazy characters and gave White as little as possible to do. Don't get me wrong. It's cute and all. But this is a comedy entertainment show. Let's try to keep some perspective on it? Just showing up does not automatically warrant complete fawning. A little bit of fawning is expected, though. See? Perspective.

White makes it to center stage in a quicker time than either of my grandmothers did when they were 88 (especially since one never made it to that age). "It's great to be here for a number of reasons," White said. She reminds us that in the 1950s, they didn't want to go live, either, but they didn't know how to do it otherwise. She thanks Facebook, before mocking it. And let there be old people jokes. White does a nice aside while joking about poking. "Guess what? Jay-Z is here! If I had a dime for everytime I've said that, I'd have a dime!" Nicely played. Nicely executed.

MacGruber! Ready for the movie? Ready or not, MacGruber is working with his Nana (White) now, who keeps embarrassing him in front of Vicki (Wiig). As in past weeks, SNL has put the night's trilogy of MacGruber bits into one clip, which will roll at your convenience:

An NPR scene brings back "Delicious Dish," a recurring scene hosted by Gasteyer and Shannon -- and best known for their "Schweddy Balls" bit with then-host Alec Baldwin. Tonight they're celebrating dietary fiber. Their guest is Florence Dusty (White), and she is known for her muffin. "I can't wait to taste your muffin." And so on, and so forth. Dusty admits that bakers of her day may have dry, crusty or even yeasty muffins. Just ask her how long it has been since her muffin had a cherry. We dare you. So yes, you'll probably want to see this:

The first ad of the night is the Snickers Super Bowl ad with Betty White, and don't forget Abe Vigoda! The second ad is for the MacGruber movie. The third ad is for beer. The fourth ad is for Sex and the City 2, which you need to drink a lot of beer before deciding that's a good idea. The fifth ad is for an iPhone. The seventh ad is for Betty White's new TV Land sitcom.

Betty White's SNL all-star dress rehearsal cuts: Debbie Downer, Bronx Beat, Joyologist, car bomber

With so many former cast members of Saturday Night Live returning to help out guest host Betty White, we knew we were in for a lot of reunions with old characters. And we were, but a few didn't make the final cut after last night's SNL dress rehearsal, including Rachel Dratch's "Debbie Downer," a new "Bronx Beat" with Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph, a "Joyologist" session with Ana Gasteyer and Molly Shannon, and a slightly misguided "press conference" for the failed Times Square car bomber Faisal Shahzad.

NBC has put these online, but should any of them made it onto the live show? Let's review.

Kristen Wiig's character tried to host a lingerie party with Tina Fey, Maya Rudolph, Molly Shannon, and Amy Poehler, Ana Gasteyer, and a latecomer to the party, Dratch's Debbie Downer.

Nobody lost it in the scene, but this did feature a flashback to when Debbie wasn't such a downer, but her grandma (Betty White) taught her everything she'd know. Oh, there was a dig at BP for the current Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

In Bronx Beat with Betty (Poehler) and Jodi (Rudolph), they talk about Betty's second pregnancy, pool noodles, and Mother's Day wishes. And White plays Betty's mother, retired to Florida. White plays the straight woman in this sketch. Andy Samberg also appears as White's yoga instructor and her boyfriend. Cougar alert! So if you hoped to hear White talk more about having sex, well, here is that chance.

OK. In "Joyologist," Ana Gasteyer brought back her character Gayle Gleason, host of a TV show called "Pretty Living" that now only appears in the backs of taxi cabs. And she welcomed back Helen Madden, Molly Shannon's renowned "joyologist." Two old characters in one new sketch. "I love it, I love it, I love it," Shannon's Madden said. What do you think? Do you like her new friend?

If they had put these sketches on the air, do you know that most of the current SNL cast could have taken the week off?!? Really.

And this sketch in which Faisal Shahzad (Fred Armisen) holds a press conference to express his displeasure with how the media has mocked his failed attempt to blow up an SUV in Times Square the previous Saturday, with translation from Maya Rudolph's character. It. Well. Hmmm. Doesn't Shahzad speak at least some English, anyhow? Roll it.

SNL #35.20 with Gabourey Sidibe and MGMT, recapped

We open cold with President Obama (Fred Armisen) blabbing away something about financial reform, and yes, I know Obama gave a speech to Wall Street on Thursday, but that doesn't mean we can go a couple of minutes into the show without a single joke or laugh line. Not a one. I started to fall asleep. Granted, I'm working on very little sleep over the weekend, but still. You know how some political comedians say the jokes sometimes write themselves? It's also nice when comedians write something funny, too, just in case the real-life joke isn't so funny.

Gabourey Sidibe is hosting. You know that famous comedic actress? Well, she's young, right? That's all that counts, right? I don't know what counts. She's not going to be one of those sassy young big black women, is she? One thing's for certain. She's not Precious. But she is singing with the SNL cast in the background as part of the doo-wop phase that reminds us how great black people had it in the 1950s. So great. Fun fact: The last time I was in the Pacific time zone and missed SNL when it aired live, January Jones was the host. That turned out great. So great. Lowering expectations now. Even knowing what I know a full day later.

Oh, look, it's the return of SNL's Suze Orman parody, starring Kristen Wiig as Orman, dispensing financial advice on the TV. Sidibe plays a Jamaican nurse guest who wrote a book. Orman has some jokes about her lesbian cat and such, but they're not big laughs, and Sidibe is focused too much on reading her cue cards on the first take. I'll say this: Wiig is good at channeling Orman. This sketch falling somewhat flat is not her fault.

For some reason, that reason most likely being Kenan Thompson developing his Steve Harvey impersonation, we get a spoof of game show Who Wants to be a Millionaire, with guest host Steve Harvey (Kenan Thompson), and contestants played by Abby Elliott, Bobby Moynihan and Sidibe. Bill Hader provides the voiceover. They also use this sketch as an excuse for Harvey to stumble over the pronunciation of Iceland's volcano and cities. There's a throwaway line at the end suggesting Larry the Cable Guy would guest host Wheel of Fortune. So, that means this sketch is suggesting that comedians should not be game show hosts? If that's the underlying message, then why, SNL, why?

We're on a stoop with Armisen and Thompson, being told to quiet down by an old lady (Sidibe), old Mrs. Johnson. Sidibe is messing up her lines again. And yet, you see, the point is she's not an old crazy lady, but an old lady who knows a lot about a lot of the things she is yelling.

SNL Digital Short: Cherry Battle. Does it make sense? Should it? Is it referencing something none of us know? Is it a technical marvel to show Samberg and Sidibe spitting several cherries from one mouth to the other? That last question is a surefire yes. Weird, but proudly so.

SNL #35.19 with Ryan Phillipe, Ke$ha

Don't know about you, but I entered this week's episode very conflicted. We have your host, Ryan Phillipe, who co-stars as the non-SNL lead with Will Forte and Kristen Wiig in the film adaptation of their SNL sketch, MacGruber, so more sketches for Forte and Wiig this week. Presumably a good thing. But when have we ever thought of Phillipe as funny? He'd have to prove himself. And then there's Ke$ha, who has a song that sticks in your head, but is wholly manufactured and could have been produced by anyone else. So what were we in store for? Probably a mixed bag. Let's recap!

The cold open is not political (yay!) and featured Larry King (Fred Armisen), in the news this week for his eighth divorce. But as I realized tonight, how many people in the SNL audience (live or at home) even realize who King is, that he is on CNN nightly, and that his looks and fundamental lack of understanding of the people he's interviewing is what makes him funny? I am old. We are old. That said, if you're talking 34-and-up demos, this was a great way to work in King's travails, the Iceland volcano, courtesy of Bjork (Wiig), and the impacts on air travel with Virgin Airlines honcho Richard Branson (Bill Hader). Bjork didn't quite generate enough laughs, nor did King's mispronunciation of Lady Gaga as Lady GooGoo. The audience did respond to Hader's Branson, though. And they knew enough not to drag it out, although it still felt long. Weird, right?

Phillipe's monologue was almost perfect. The promotional start was, well, necessary, but nice way to tie MacGruber in with other SNL recurring characters wondering when they'd get their own movies; among them: Target Lady (Wiig), Andy Samberg's early 1990s hip-hopper from "Dick in a Box," and Kenan Thompson's host from "What Up With That?" When he broke into song, you hoped he'd break out the whole sketch, and though Thompson did get in two digs on MacGruber, and Jason Sudeikis danced a little bit (sort of), and Armisen fake-played the sax, they didn't really go for it. Which made it feel a little incomplete. Better, funnier to take over the monologue and make Phillipe work to throw it to the fake commercial.

Which was a repeat fake ad for Broadview Security, in which everyone wants to attack a woman (Nasim Pedrad) in her home.

And then another edition of ESPN Classic's Twinkle and Stink, this time from the Today Sponge Women's Weightlifting Championships of 1986. As always, it's really inconsequential who is competing -- in this case, Sue Ferrigno (Wiig) and Olivia Newton Cougar Mellencamp (Phillipe) -- because it's about the broadcast interplay between the mustachioed duo of Pete Twinkle (Sudeikis) and Greg Stink (Forte). I haven't crunched the numbers on this, but it feels like we're seeing them as often as we used to see Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri as the cheerleaders from a decade ago. And, just as in every other one of these sketches, the jokes come from Sudeikis coming up with slogans for the lady product and Forte not knowing how to answer questions. Is there a formula within 30 Rock that determines precisely how many weeks can go before recurring this sketch effectively? I mean, I usually enjoy it. So it must be working. This formula.

Finallly. Some actual ads. And then...

Watch plenty of sneak previews of Saturday Night Live's "In the 2000s" primetime documentary

NBC devotes two hours of its prime-time programming tonight (9-11 p.m. Eastern/Pacific, 8-10 p.m. Central/Mountain) to a look back at Saturday Night Live in the 2000s, and if you think it's all about 2008, well, you're only partially right. There's plenty to mine here, and even from the preview clips NBC has made available, you can see how SNL slowly but surely found its way back into the zeitgeist in the latter half of the past decade.

For instance, here are Jason Sudeikis, Amy Poehler and Bobby Moynihan talking about the "Palin Rap" that happened live on Weekend Update in front of a bouncy then-VP candidate Sarah Palin. Weird but true. We learn how much Palin loved Sudeikis pretending to be her husband, Todd, and also realize that was Moynihan in the moose costume.

SNL really got our attention in recent years thanks to rap, and "Lazy Sunday" kicked it off the SNL connection with the online generation. Here are writers Jorma Taccone and Akiva Schaffer talking about what went down behind the scenes with Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell.

Speaking of Parnell, here's a segment devoted solely to his raps.

SNL #35.18 with Tina Fey, Justin Bieber

If you're lucky, every once in a while, you get to experience one of your favorite TV shows as an audience member, from inside the belly of the beast -- or if you're talking about last night's SNL, inside the belly of the Bieber. Now. I was teased for using that phrase on Twitter last night, but when it turns out that my wordplay is nowhere nearly as creepy as how SNL itself turned out, well, jeepers creepers Biebers, I'm fairly sure all of the tween girls who tuned in were shocked and amazed by all of the aggressively sexual material. Not that it wasn't all funny. Much of it was. Just thinking maybe it was a bit more mature than its audience. Heck. Maybe not. Kids these days, right? I don't know.

But I can tell you that as an audience member at the dress rehearsal, they made some great decisions about where to trim, and what to cut entirely for the live show. If only you could have seen the other ad spoof they had ready...not going to say anything more lest they decide to air it next week (or during the Betty White episode). Recap, shall we?

Considering what a poor track record the show has had recently with its political cold opens, this one with President Obama (Fred Armisen) leading viewers through the Census form was surprisingly good. And, ahem, aggressively sexual. A question asking if you fantasize about sex with individuals living in your house -- as in incest, in every case except for the foreign exchange student? There's also the first of multiple jokes about Obama's health-care reform, and some fun with stereotypes and getting you to reveal things that should be left confidential. At this point, it's not even worth debating Armisen's Obama. It has become, like SNL's original presidential caricatures, something that doesn't bother worrying about precision.

OK, so Tina Fey walks out for her monologue, and immediately I recall a recent interview in which Fey described how she knows what dresses work for and which do not, and this dress is designed to show off as much cleavage as possible without getting an FCC fine. I mean. Just. What? Anyhow. The audience already seems less of a teen scream crowd than the dress rehearsal crowd. Good nanny joke. Will Forte as a creepy personal trainer. Fun fact: In dress, Fey had Andy Samberg playing her husband. At air, she had Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez. Upgrade! At both dress and air, she also had Steve Martin playing her tax lawyer. An early Justin Bieber appearance, and Kenan Thompson as Chaka Khan. All that, plus a tease that she'll play Sarah Palin later in the show. (Guessing that the Chaka Khan song is what's holding this off of the legal Internet for now)

Brownie Husband is not an actual Duncan Hines product, but let's talk about it. No. Let's not talk about it. Just watch Tina Fey get down and dirty with a giant brownie shaped like a man. Her commitment sells the bit, but if you want to keep track of the types of women Fey plays tonight, and how important sex is thematically to the sketches, this would be a good time to get out your notepads.

No real commercials yet. We need to get to CBS coverage of the Masters golf tournament with Jim Nantz (Jason Sudeikis), Nick Faldo (Bill Hader) and special commentary from slutty Las Vegas model and party gal Ashlyn St. Cloud (Fey), who naturally, has had sex with Tiger Woods. Nice getting Michael Jordan's name into it, as well as making fun of golf as a sport, and golf's own heritage (even though I admittedly love playing golf). They also manage to get their parody of Tiger's new Nike ad within the broader context of the golfing sketch. And a "that's what Tiger said," to boot? I'd have suggested they get in a dig at Faldo, but only actual golfing fans would have gotten that joke.

Ads, ads, ads. Anyone noticing how even the SNL bumpers show Tina Fey in sexy poses and outfits? Just me? No, not just me. Carry on.

SNL #35.17 with Jude Law, Pearl Jam, Julian Casablancas, and Jerry Seinfeld. Really?!?

With all of the talk last week about Betty White anchoring the mother of all Mother's Day editions of Saturday Night Live in May with several former female SNL cast members helping out, it's maybe a good a time as any to talk about the role women play on SNL. Because there are typically so few women in the cast in any year, you'd think that would mean we'd get to see more of them throughout the season. That's not how it tends to work, however. It's almost as if SNL subscribes to a Highlander theory for female cast members: There can be only one. Amy Poehler dominated her final seasons on the show, and when she left, Kristen Wiig soon became seen in multiple scenes with recurring characters. Last night, however, belonged to newcomer Nasim Pedrad. Sign of things to come? Or just a one-off? Something for you to think about, as we get to tonight's recap...

OK. As someone who lives in New York, I've heard more than plenty about newly outed, ahem, Congressman Eric Massa, who left the House because of aggressive tickle fighting? That's a thing? You can get kicked out of Congress for tickling? Well, if it involves your male aides, whom you have live with you, and allegations of sexual harassment, that sounds more serious. Anyhow. I don't think people who live outside of New York and may not be up on the news would need a lot of catching up time -- which is why the cold open's voiceover intro from Bill Hader seemed especially lengthy. You could open with the scene. It's an exit interview. They're going to tell us what happened, anyhow. I can only imagine that the voiceover will become more necessary years from now when this season comes out on DVD and viewers go, oh, what is this about again? Oh, right. This guy. Bobby Moynihan plays Massa, getting debriefed, as it were by Wiig's Congressional bureaucrat. With nothing to hide, Massa happily recounts his 50th birthday party, with tickling by and with aides played by Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader and Will Forte. And, yeah, "snorkeling." Yes. That's right. We get an act-out of oral sex to open the show, followed by footage of a sailor rubbing his crotch. This beats last week's funny-free political opening, but when you have such a gimme with the real-life material, how could it not be? Wait a second. This looks like the "dress rehearsal" version -- in which the opening voiceover appears in an on-screen crawl. Makes more sense? Also: Moynihan's mic did drop out for a couple of seconds in the "live" version. So yes. Makes more sense.

Jude Law is our host again, and quickly reminds us of the last time he hosted, with musical guest Ashlee Simpson and a lip-sync joke. Then he references his starring turn on Broadway playing Hamlet, by boiling down the Shakespearean classic into a quick version -- essentially making sure nobody should bother paying to go see the full version. Though he gets in a gag on Jeremy Piven. And a jab about cell phones going off during Hamlet's "to be or not to be" soliloquy. He tells us he's on Twitter during his time offstage? Hmmm.

Our first of a couple of parody ads. Kenan Thompson and Abby Elliott climb into a Toyota Prius. Which immediately speeds out of control. "Did you step on the brakes?" It's...a Ford ad. This felt obligatory.

During the break, two observations. Wow: Comedy Central is putting a ton of money and energy into promoting its new animated series, Ugly Americans. I hope it's good. Also, right before SNL came on my TV, Mercedes aired an ad voiced over by Jon Hamm. Yes. It sounded exactly like Don Draper making an ad campaign pitch to Mercedes. It was so meta, my face melted. What do we think of that? I'll take your answers offline.

SNL #35.16 with Zach Galifianakis, Vampire Weekend

I know my hopes were up, your hopes were up, comedy nerds everywhere held their collective breaths last night to see what would happen when Zach Galifianakis hosted SNL. It wasn't his first time hanging out there -- he'd been there as a writer for a fleeting moment many years ago -- and there was a sense on many people's parts (his included) that his sense of humor was, to borrow a phrase from the show's early years, too "wild and crazy" for the show. And yet. There he was. So let us recap.

Last night, I gave a first impression during the show that everything that included Galifianakis was amazing and awesome, and that all of the "skitches" without him were not quite so much. So how about that cold open? The C-SPAN presidential address from Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) on health-care reform, and repeating the mistakes of the Clintons, with Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (Kristen Wiig) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (Will Forte) was so cold, you could hear the studio creaking when Armisen paused for what he had been told would be laughter. Watching the actual health-care debate might actually be funnier than this. Nope.

Alas, once the credits rolled, we got our first glimpse of Galifianakis. From the first words: "Stop clapping!" To his thanks for "being back hosting Saturday Night Live again," to the rapid-fire jokes. Yes. If you're a big fan, you may have heard one or two of these lines before. But have you ever seen him say any of this on live network television? No. No you hadn't. I could tell he was even a little bit nervous about it all, but damn did he pull it off. Loved, loved how he turned the audience immediately by saying how he lives in Brooklyn, but hates it, and without saying Williamsburg, accurately described the skinny hipsters and mocked them with his subway calls. "Hey, everybody, here comes the choo-choo!" The way he does this, and then announces he will "go to the piano and talk about myself," followed by "I don't really know what I'm doing here." It's just so great. Even greater is how he sells some of his more dangerous punchlines by looking up from the piano and staring directly into the camera. Then barking at the SNL house band. And the Hoobastank line. It was one of those times you could watch SNL and the Live part really came alive.

SNL #35.15 with Jennifer Lopez

NBC sports reporter Mary Carillo filed a report Saturday night during Winter Olympics coverage that purported to talk up the Canadian heritage in comedy, but ended up falling short of whatever mark it was aiming for -- what was it aiming for, anyhow? Carillo went all the way to 30 Rock to talk to Lorne Michaels, after all, and also apparently all the way to Montreal to cover Just For Laughs, although just for B-roll and a couple of minutes of interviews with Martin Short and Caroline Rhea? Hmmm. Carillo put more effort into her puff piece on trying to be a Mountie than she did for this slam-dunk assignment. At least it gave Bob Costas two chances to remind viewers that SNL was on tonight with a fresh episode. Well, a new episode. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's hope instead that the SNL team wasn't too distracted by the Olympics themselves...

Quincy Jones (Kenan Thompson) opened this episode, introducing the all-star song "We Are The World 3" to address the disaster which is and was the 2010 remake of "We Are The World," which featured "randos" such as Nipsy Hustle. Nice reference! Jennifer Lopez herself opened the song as Rihanna (or some variation of her), Kristen Wiig showed off her singing chops as Gwen Stefani, and a collection of characters soon followed. I have to say, seeing the dazed and confused look on Bobby Moynihan's face in the chorus scenes was Precious! Nasim Pedrad played hot crazy Shakira, Bill Hader used a Joker-like perma-grin to utter Eddie Vedder, Will Forte as Willie Nelson, Jason Sudeikis as Adam Lambert (?), with Jenny Slate as Lady Gaga, Abby Elliott as Melissa Etheridge, and Moynihan played David Crosby. There weren't a lot of jokes, however, in the song, save for a nice play on the observation that Fonzworth Bentley was in the chorus -- lettting J.Lo confirm he was the "Umbrella" man for Sean Combs (when she was dating him?!). Oh, Andy Samberg was there as Josh Groban, with Fred Armisen as Carlos Santana, to apologize for being in the remake. Yep. Still lacking in real funny punchlines. Which could portend awful things ahead. Until. They cut back to Kenan/Quincy to say "Hmmm. Well, that was pretty bad, too." Good cover!

Jennifer Lopez looks hot, and in her monologue, she talks about how much she has grown up -- married with kids -- since the last time she hosted SNL. Thompson shows up in the audience as Dante, the guy in her former entourage who used to hold her orange juice, and cannot get a new job because of his past job experience. "You can't live in the past," Lopez says. But her drag queens (played by Hader and Sudeikis) begged to differ. But. Butt! Did you see her turn her back on us at the end to show us her back end? She's putting on the hard sell tonight, if you know what I mean. You know what I mean.

They found a quick way into the almost-obligatory Olympic curling sketch by going back in time to 1987 so they could have their "ESPN Classic" broadcast team of Pete Twinkle and Greg Stink (Sudeikis and Forte) cover the Ladies World Cup of Curling from the Tacoma Dome, sponsored by Gyne-Lotrimin. As with previous installments of this sketch, the lady athletes (such as Finland's Helga Birkenstock (Wiig) and Paraguay's Maria Shakira Prinze Jr. (Lopez)) were secondary to the broadcast patter between Sudeikis and Forte and their sponsorship mentions. As were the actual rules of curling. Elliott, Pedrad and Slate held the brushes for their skips. I'll be so pleased when one of these feminine hygiene products decides to embrace Sudeikis' Twinkle taglines into an actual commercial, just for the sheer audacity of it. Until then...

An SNL Digital Short on Flags of the World. I guess this could be inspired by the Olympics, but you can file this in the random pile. Oh, and of course you saw the "We Love Betty White Flag," right? It's before the random "Moz Flag" and the jab at John Mayer by calling his flag the "Jag Flag."