Michael Palascak made his debut Friday night on Late Show with David Letterman, and he made some compelling arguments for living with his parents, not working at McDonald's, not moving to Canada, not waiting for marriage to have sex, and how working the graveyard is not as cool as working the graveyard shift. I think I made that last one up. Sort of.
But as Palascak said: "I don't make the rules. I just mix them up in my head."
Here's something you didn't see almost 20 years ago. It's rare footage of The State in their first MTV office in the early 1990s, singing a version of "The Boner Song." See how young they all look! Also, they're college kids singing about boners.
Roll it.
If you think it's unusual for footage from The State to linger in archives for more than 14 years, then you probably also didn't know that it took that long for their January 1996 recording to become public. But that's exactly what happened with their CD, "Comedy For Gracious Living." It captures all of them at their youthful indiscretioniest. Is that a word? Who knows. This is an actual CD, though.
Following his second turn hosting the Golden Globes, Ricky Gervais helped out fellow ex-pat Brit Piers Morgan by granting him an interview, as played last night on CNN.
Gervais wasn't the least bit apologetic about his roasting of Hollywood and the HFPA during the Globes -- and why should he be? Isn't that what a good comedian is supposed to do at one of these things. As Morgan found out, Gervais did relay one really great tip about awards shows: Since every 10 minutes, three or four more audience members become losers, the room really becomes that much harder the longer into the show you go.
Roll a clip!
Here are some rules of thumb for comedy that Gervais dished out last night, as told chronologically during the hour. These are not all of the rules, naturally. But he made some solid points that ring true, whether you're doing your first paid weekend gig or hosting a big televised ceremony. On with it then:
1) "My main aim isn't to shock people, at all," he said. "I want to make people laugh. I want to do a good job. But on my terms, really. It's not a popularity contest with me. If someone said, 'Oh, you could make that joke more palatable. More people would like you.' I'd go, 'That's not my joke then.' I do this for me, really. And I think you have to be true to yourself."
2) "They hired me for a job and if they didn't want me, they shouldn't have hired me."
3) "No one has the right not to be offended. And don't forget, just because you're offended, it doesn't mean you're in the right. A lot of people are offended by mixed marriage. It doesn't mean they're right."
4) "There's nothing you shouldn't joke about. It depends what the joke is. Comedy comes from a good or a bad place. And I like to think that mine comes from a good place. You know, when you see my stand-up, on the face of it, I'm talking about taboo subjects, but they're to get me to a position. They're to get the audience to a place they haven't been before."
5) "I think a comedian's job isn't just to make people laugh, I think it's to make people think."
6) "I think with comedy you should have no prejudices. As soon as you have prejudices, it falls down comedically. Comedy is an intellectual pursuit. Comedy appeals to the intellect, not the emotional. As soon as you go emotional, it stops being funny. It starts being rallying. That's why a real racist joke isn't funny, because it's not true. And someone in the audience is going, 'Well, he's having a go at something that I can't help. You have a go at things that people do. If someone goes crazy, and trashes a hotel room, talk about it. But you don't talk about their sexuality, or the color of their skin."
7) On the Globes and awards: "It's also the worst room for a comic, because, Jerry Seinfeld said he'd never do an awards show, because they're not there to be made to laugh, they're there to see if they've won an award. And of course, as it goes on, with everyone that wins, three people lost. So it's exponential that people would go, 'I don't care anymore!'"
8) "My strategy is to make me laugh. If there's anyone in the world like me, that's a bonus. I'm very Darwinist about this. You do your own thing, and then you see if you survive. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Because if you start second-guessing and you're trying to find people that are like you or are changing to make certain people like you, you're finished, and you're finished as a comedian, more than any 0ther thing in the world. You know. It's not my job to worry about what people think of me. That's a job for a politician. I don't care what people think of me. I care that I've done a good job, and I care that I've told the truth. If it's funny, what a great bonus that is."
9) On mocking/roasting the rich and famous: "I'm not judging them. I'm not judging them for what they did. I'm confronting the elephant in the room. They hired me. Like I'm going to go out there, and not talk about the issues in their industry. I've got to be an outsider there. I mustn't come out there as everyone's mate, and schmooze. That's nauseating. I've got to come out there, and I've got to roast them."
Gervais also defended his last-second joke about being an atheist by thanking God at the end of the Globes telecast. Here's how he explained it to Morgan:
10) "If you start trying to be cool and sexy, you've lost it. You've just lost it, certainly as a comedian. You must never take yourself too seriously."
11) On opinion versus fact: "If you got me here and said, Ricky, I didn't find you funny. I've never found you funny. You've got an annoying face. I've never liked you. I'd say, that's fine. But if you say, and I saw you eating a squirrel in the park. I'd go, no no no, no you didn't. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but they're not entitled to their own facts."
12) "As a comedian, what you try and do is be as funny onstage, or on a telly, or in a film, as you are in a pub with people you know and trust and drink with."
On last night's episode of Lopez Tonight, Greg Fitzsimmons joked about the difference between losing a job and having it stolen, worries about being called "the white devil" by using the wrong word to describe other races and ethnicities, because the world is a confusing mixed-up place where nothing matches up with the actual meanings of words. Word! He'll also tell you why President Barack Obama is magical.
If you haven't yet been to the Gallery1988 exhibit, "Is This Thing On?," then you must not be anywhere near Los Angeles. Because that's where that is.
Thanks to the Internet, however, you can view -- and even buy originals and prints from the awesome collection of artwork inspired by comedians. Mike Mitchell, the man who inspired Team Coco with his image of Conan O'Brien, pictured Zach Galifianakis as "Marijuana Santa Claus." It's out of stock, in case you wanted to buy the print from Gallery1988. But you can stare at this all day long if you like:
Galifianakis wrote a thank-you note to Mitchell, and managed to be self-deprecating in just a few words by apologizing for his own face. Aww. And you can see that, too!
Put the rumors to bed. Comix isn't closing up shop. Comix isn't turning into a sports bar. But the "Comix" sign has been taken down from the wall onstage the New York City comedy club, and the new owners say they plan on mixing things up to attract the clientele that already populates their location on the edge of the Meatpacking District.
"We're going to give the neighborhood what it needs," Mike Romer told me last week.
Romer and Neal Erman, who previously have collaborated on the Flatiron nightclub Room Service, invested in Comix in September 2010. They've made some recent cosmetic changes, from the paintings onstage and along the walls to new seating in both the theater space and the bar/lounge. By February, they plan on emphasizing the mix part of Comix even more -- while the mainstage will continue to be called Comix, the overall space will get a new name and a new Website.
"It's going to be an old-school Copa-type variety club," Romer said. "We don't want to be Carolines. We don't want to be 23rd Street (Gotham)."
He's thinking younger and more aggressive. "You're going to come in here one night and see a woman in a hula hoop telling jokes wearing pasties."
Added booker Kim Hannwacker: "A lot of comedy clubs want to get you in and get you out. We want you to stay all night long. We want you to have a full experience."
At 10:30 p.m. on Saturday night, as Bobby Slayton was playing to a three-fourths house onstage, the entire bar area and lobby was filled with audience members waiting for the 11:30 p.m. Ultimate Drag Off, which will be a new weekly late-night Saturday fixture at the club. Tuesdays will see Mark Rivera, sax man for Billy Joel and music director for Ringo Starr's All-Star Band, holding court with "The Hang."
"We're not going to be structured like a comedy club," Erman said.
But they're still going to offer live comedy. Here's a key to this new flyer on display in the club's front window.
Martini Mondays -- Comedy followed by ping-pong afterward (since noted ping-pong "champion" Judah Friedlander will be a regular).
Rookie Tuesdays -- A rebranding of "New Talent Shows." In addition, Tu Rae will host "Soul Comedy."
Big Hair Wednesdays -- Musical comedy
Dirty Thursdays -- Hosted by Wil Sylvince, it'll feature comics who'd fit under what others call "Nasty" or "Cringe" shows. Thursdays also will offer those "An Evening With" one-night-only co-headliner shows
F*ck Me Fridays -- No headliner showcases
Soiree Saturdays -- Two showcases followed by the late-night Ultimate Drag Off
Hannwacker said popular monthly shows such as "The Daily Show and Friends" and K-Date will continue, and that open mics and other shows (such as a Wednesday "$5 holler" with Omid Singh) would take place in the basement once it's redesigned.
"We want Jay-Z to come in here in the next month, sit in the front row, and laugh. I guarantee it," Romer said. "Or at least Kanye."
He can joke like that as he talks the big game that nightclub guys talk, because Kanye West already did show up at Comix once in 2010, to see Aziz Ansari.
Craig Rowin is an improviser at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in NYC, where he performs regularly on Friday nights with The Law Firm. Rowin also is a contributor to The Onion and its TV show, Onion SportsDome, wrote for Matt Besser's Comedy Central pilot, and is the head writer and director for the ESPN.com webseries, "The Pretty Good Sports Show."
All of that pales in comparison to the stunt Rowin is pulling off right now.
A couple of months ago, Rowin posted a video to YouTube asking a millionaire -- any millionaire -- to come forward and give him $1 million. Cash or check only. He had no plans for the money. Just wanted it. Roll the clip.
A rich man named Benjamin called him to take him up on the offer. Yes. That's right. Craig Rowin will receive a check for $1 million live onstage at the UCB on Feb. 2. Aubrey Plaza (UCB alum who's on NBC's Parks and Recreation) congratulated him. Roll the clip!
As he noted in the beginning, Rowin will be paying some of it forward, with $50,000 each going to Will Hines (who shot and directed the videos) and Adam Lustick (who co-wrote the videos).
Coincidentally, $50,000 would be enough to subsidize the entire operations of The Comic's Comic for ONE FULL YEAR.
Not that I wouldn't turn down $1 million. I'd take it! So if any famously wealthy comedians or comedy lovers have some money to throw around, please give me $50,000 and I'll shut up about being broke for ONE FULL YEAR. Seriously. Really. I mean it. My landlord means it. My parents mean it. Don't make me move in with them. They're in Florida. It's tough to write about comedy from Florida. Have you been to Florida? OK. Enough about me.
First Chris Gethard gets Sean "Diddy" Combs to appear on his show, and now this? I'm beginning to think the secret to success is having Will Hines play a role in your ambitions...
Congratulations, Craig Rowin! See you on Groundhog Day!
UPDATED: At least a couple of mainstream media blogs have suggested that this is all a hoax designed to get people to buy $5 tickets for Rowin's UCB show. I don't think so. When I congratulated Rowin this morning, this was his reply to me: "I am still in shock. It's going to be insane." I read this, as well as the grin on his face in the "success" video, as genuine disbelief.
On last night's episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live, comedian Andrew Norelli made a solid case against raising your expectations when you and the gang go on a Vegas vacation, as well as for not trying so hard to pose for a photo. Fun fact: Norelli will be recording a CD for Uproar later this month in Seattle. Random fact about Norelli: He finished as runner-up in the 2008 Boston Comedy Festival contest. Other random fact about Norelli: He used to be a writer for Byron Allen's Comics Unleashed.
And in slightly related news: What happened to the fake-brick Bud Light stage that Kimmel was putting the comedians on earlier? Hmmm.
Gabriel Iglesias did stand-up and panel last night on Conan, joking about being famous enough to be recognized, but not necessarily for the right reasons. Related: Google "fluffy" and Iglesias is the top result. Also: Jorts!
Iglesias is currently on a stand-up comedy tour with dates here in the United States, as well as in the Middle East and Australia.
Assembling more than a million followers on your Twitter feed is all well and good, but are all of those people actually paying attention to what you're typing?
Peerindex crunched the numbers on 248 comedians in Britain (although a couple of Yanks snuck into the mix!) to see how much influence they had across multiple social media platforms, based on the following criteria:
Authority: how well does a person resonate with their audience, and the world at large? How likely are they to say or share things other people will find interesting?
Audience: how large is a persons audience? How engaged?
Activity: how active is a person in order to drive the resonance and audience we see?
After all of that, Peerindex comes up with a weighted number (score) between 1 and 100, and the median is 19.
With that, here are the top 12 British comedians on Twitter right now.
This afternoon, I happened to catch part of the daytime chat show, The Talk, the very idea of which makes me want to hit myself with a hammer. Which, interestingly enough, is how guest Bob Newhart described growing up with three sisters!
Newhart, married for 48 years, said he met his wife when Buddy Hackett set him up with her on a blind date. Newhart also argues that laughter is the key to a lengthy marriage, and cited Hackett, Don Rickles, George Burns as evidence that comedians -- of all the performing artists -- make for the best spouses. As I pointed out on Twitter earlier today, there are some obvious exceptions to that rule. I know that all too well.
The long-running Internet comedy team of Barats and Bereta are back with a new short film called "Scott and Zander's Crazy Night Out." From their avatar, you'd presume that this short will be featured on an upcoming episode of Funny or Die Presents on HBO. We'll just have to wait and see.
In the meantime, enjoy this clip from it, in which the fellas encounter Tony Danza and ask him if Elton John's song lyrics really ask them to "Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza." Tiny Dancer. Tony Danza. So close. In related news, I heard Tony Danza had a TV series in which he pretended to be a public-school teacher, but for real? Sounds like somebody got knocked in the head too many times. But I'm not the boss. Oh, wait. I am the boss.
Roll it!
Full credits: Starring Tony Danza, Barats & Bereta, Matt Walsh, Cleo King, Adam Devine, Blake Anderson, Julianna Guill, Bret Ernst, Ahmed Ahmed, and Iliza Shlesinger
After being off the air for the fall and first part of winter, Parks and Recreation returns to the NBC lineup this Thursday. Apparently, nobody told Rob Lowe until Funny or Die could get camera crews in place for this NSFW video. Kidding. We're all kidding.
But seriously. Just keep an eye on Aziz Ansari during this video.
The winter press tour for the TV Critics Association in Pasadena, Calif., wrapped up business over the weekend, so it might be good to catch you all up on what's what in terms of TV comedy in the coming months.
By network.
ABC: Early renewals for next fall already for Castle, Cougar Town, The Middle and Modern Family. Mr. Sunshine, starring Matthew Perry, debuts on Feb. 9. Happy Endings will show up on April 13.
CBS: The Big Bang Theory has been renewed for three additional seasons.
FOX: Raising Hope will return next fall for a second season, while Running Wilde and The Good Guys are done. Bob's Burgers debuted two episodes ago. Catch up! Traffic Light will debut on Feb. 8.
FX: Wilfred, the show based on an Australian series in which a man (Elijah Wood) sees a dog as a man in a dog costume (Jason Gann, reprising his Aussie role), will debut at 10 p.m. Thursday sometime this summer. Followed by the second season of Louis CK's Louie. CK has filmed some of his stand-up for it, but no full production just yet. The seventh and final season of Denis Leary's Rescue Me kicks off July 12. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League both will return in the fall.
GSN: Not sure they were part of TCA (probably not), but during it, the Game Show Network announced it was reviving Lingo with 40 new episodes hosted by Bill Engvall, to debut in June.
HBO: Pee-wee Herman's Broadway show will get a TV audience in March. The network also has picked up comedy Girls from Lena Dunham.
NBC: Perfect Couples will get its official debut (after an earlier sneak preview) this Thursday, Jan. 20, alongside the third-season return of Parks and Recreation as part of a three-hour sitcom block on Thursdays for the network.
SHOWTIME: Californication received an early renewal for season five, as season four only just started a little more than a week ago. Less-clearly comedies Nurse Jackie and The United States of Tara both return on March 28. The second season of The Green Room with Paul Provenza does not yet have a start date, but it filmed all of its episodes last week in Los Angeles. Episodes will include the following combinations of stand-ups: Kathy Griffin, Dana Gould, Greg Proops and Franklin Ajaye; Margaret Cho, Jeff Ross, Richard Lewis and Kumail Nanjiani; Jamie Kilstein, Kathleen Madigan, Lewis Black and Ron White; Tommy Chong, Joe Rogan, Eddie Ifft and Rick Shapiro; Marc Maron, Judd Apatow, Ray Romano and Garry Shandling.
Remember: There's also a summer press tour with the TCA, so if you didn't see an update on a TV comedy you love, maybe it's just because you'll have to wait a few months to hear it.
Jeff Caldwell performed on Friday night's episode of Late Show with David Letterman. As Letterman said, it wasn't Caldwell's first time on the program. This time around, he provided insight on living with a younger wife, and why they're not planning on having kids anytime soon. Some topics here may seem well-covered, but Caldwell seems to have his own take on many of them.
Roll the clip!
Want to see Caldwell's earlier performance from 2007?
Well, well, well. We all can agree that Ricky Gervais acted like a guy who didn't want to be hosting the Golden Globes, at least not in the way that Hollywood (and particularly the Hollywood Foreign Press Association) expects its hosts to play nice. But was he funny?
Let's go to the videotape. Just joking. Nobody uses videotape in 2011. Let's go to the official online clips!
In his monologue, Gervais didn't stick the landing on the opening Charlie Sheen joke, but as soon as he started in on The Tourist, the audible gasp of hundreds of rich, famous, beautiful people sucking the air out of the room meant that Gervais had everyone's attention from then on. Cut to joke victim Johnny Depp. He's smiling. Phew. Where's Cher? Not there? OK. Everyone's laughing. Sex and the City 2? Even Mr. Big is smiling and nodding in approval. A Scientology joke -- the Scientology joke -- followed by the tag: "My lawyers helped me with the wording of that joke." And then the Hugh Hefner jokes, followed by the act-out on the line "just don't look at it when you touch it." This was all happening live on network television (NBC) at 8 p.m. on a Sunday -- 7 p.m. Central, 5 p.m. Pacific! Wow. Now that's some ballsy talk. About balls.
But Gervais was only getting started. When he introduced Eva Longoria to introduce the HFPA president, Philip Berk, Gervais said of the man in charge: "That's nothing. I just had to help him off the toilet and pop his teeth in." Berk's retort? "And Ricky, next time you want me to help you qualify one of your movies, go to another guy." Then he smiled and turned quickly toward Gervais. Still friends? Is this how the game is played? Or is there a backlash a brewing?
Gervais was gentler when introducing Alec Baldwin and Jennifer Lopez, saying: "He's Alec from the Rock. She's just Jenny from the block. If the block in question is that one on Rodeo Drive between Cartier and Prada." That's a gentle gibe, right?
Gervais hit hard in this introduction: "But many of you in this room probably know him best from such facilities as the Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angeles County Jail. Ladies and gentleman, Robert Downey Jr." Everyone seemed to think Robert Downey Jr. handled Gervais best by getting in a quick quip, saying: "Aside from the fact that it's been hugely mean-spirited with mildly sinister undertones, I'd say the vibe of the show is pretty good so far, wouldn't you?" RDJ then launched into his own bit, which was equally ribald, suggesting he have/had sex with each of the best actress nominees.
Gwyneth Paltrow has hosted before. Remember when everyone made a big deal because Ben Affleck made a surprise cameo, and when we learned that Paltrow and Maya Rudolph were besties? Well, in 2011, Affleck isn't walking through that door, and it's doubtful that Rudolph is walking through that door, either. We were reminded more than once by everybody that Paltrow had sung Cee-Lo's 2010 hit, "Fuck You" -- er, I mean, "Forget You"? -- in a recent episode of Glee, so we were to fully expect her to sing this in a duet with Cee-Lo. You know, because she also was in the movie musical, Duets?! Whenever you're told to expect something, lower your expectations. That's what I say.
Now here's what I recap.
We open cold on FOX News and the title card says the network is "Embracing Civility." Ooh, I wonder what that looks like. Won't have to wait long to find out, as Kristen Wiig appears as Greta Van Susteren to anchor the special. Hold on. Have to up the volume on my TV to hear as Wiig's Van Susteren is barely audible with her lips moving from side to side like that. OK. Better now. Bobby Moynihan plays Sean Hannity. Nasim Pedrad shows up as Michelle Malkin, and Jason Sudeikis returns to portray Glenn Beck once more. Beck doesn't want to be part of this, at all. Since they're having such a hard time toning down their rhetoric, they also invited someone from CNN: Democrat James Carville (Bill Hader). Yeah, that should do the trick. Looks like Jim Carrey has more than rubbed off a little bit on Hader, as his version of Carville tonight completely resembling and impersonating Carrey's character in The Mask. Wouldn't everyone agree? Everyone is agreeing. Moving on. Oh, Abby Elliott is here, too, as Rachel Maddow, using Beck's chalkboard.
Was Paltrow's monologue full of goop? She notes what has changed since she last hosted: She has moved to Britain, and starred in the movie Country Strong, and sang her song at the Country Music Awards. And then she made fun of country music. Wait. Sudeikis strolls onstage as Kenny Rogers to test her knowledge of country music. Duet time! "Islands in the Stream." She doesn't know her lyrics. Wiig shows up midway for a walk-through cameo as Dolly Parton. Cee-Lo even shows up to interrupt. Yes. We all know and have gone on the Twitters and the Facebooks to say how his size is proportionately disproportionate to other people's proportions. We get it. SONG PARODY COUNT: 1
SNL decides next to poke fun at NBC's own promos for new show The Cape with promos for spin-offs. Which. Wait a second. I know at least one person in my Twitter feed already did this. If only Twitter could let me search easily to find that person. In the meantime, Pedrad portrays "The Scarf," Hader gets "The Scarf," Andy Samberg is "The Leg Warmer," and Kenan Thompson in "The Sleep Mask," Wiig in "The Bolo Tie," Fred Armisen in "The Water Bottle Holder," Sudeikis in "The Scrunchy," and Moynihan in "The Spanx." It's all based on the visuals, you know. Used to be about the ball bearings. But that was before you were born. Not it's all about the visuals.
Colin Jost is a writer on Saturday Night Live, but he made his TV debut as a stand-up comedian on a different floor of 30 Rock last night, performing on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.
Jost was a "new face" at last summer's Just For Laughs in Montreal, and he now joins several other former new facers from the past couple of years to get the opportunity to present their showcase sets on Fallon.
Forty years ago this week, All in the Family debuted on CBS. It ranked tops as the #1 TV show in America for five consecutive seasons, but as creator/producer Norman Lear pointed out at the 2002 U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, he probably couldn't get the show on network television then (and probably not in 2011 either).
CBS News talked to Lear and Rob Reiner about the show on its 40th anniversary, and noted how the political divide and climate now isn't all that different than it was in January 1971, and that perhaps Americans would be better served having a comedy that speaks to all of the American family, the Archie Bunkers and Meatheads alike.
Roll the clip because you're too young to remember the show, or too old and your memory needs a wake-up call!
1. James Lipton wanted Jim Carrey from the very beginning, 17 years ago, extending his first invitation to Carrey. But he only showed up this week for a sit-down on Bravo's Inside the Actor's Studio.
So. What else did we learn about him now that we didn't learn then?
2. He knows how to make an entrance. Or, he knows to always open big. Also could have accepted he likes to jog across the stage, and if he sees stairs, he'll climb them to wave to the already-standing crowd, notice the big screen behind him and pet it gently.
3. He didn't know that the original more French Canadian version of his family name means "square." "Does it really?" "Yes, what a misnomer!" "Wow. I didn't know that. Fantastic."
4. In school, he was so much of a class clown, that one teacher figured out how to channel his energies by giving him an incentive: If he focused on schoolwork and didn't disrupt others, she'd give him 15 minutes at the end of the day to perform. "So I spent all my free time coming up with routines, and impressions of the principal, and I would make fun of people."
5. His father lost his job at 51, when Jim was 12. And the family lived in a car briefly and became janitors.
6. He left school on his 16th birthday and "I immediately went to a comedy club." He said he failed so bad they went on the mic and bellowed "totally boring" at the Toronto Yuk Yuk's. He said the same thing happened when he attempted The Comedy Store at 19. "I thought I was going to be the man of a thousand faces. I got up to 150." He does James Dean. And now James Dean on botox. He showed that Fire Marshal Bill, his famous In Living Color, did not require much makeup, folding his upper lip and contorting his face immediately to show how he did it.
7. Speaking of faces, here he is in an online-only video talking about how mere subtle changes to his face resulted in dramatic differences for some of his onscreen characters.
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