the comic's comic

Jim Norton on HBO: "Monster Rain"

Toward the end of Jim Norton's new hour-long HBO special "Monster Rain" (debuts tonight at 10, available on DVD Tuesday), the 39-year-old comedian takes a moment to recognize and thank Opie and Anthony in the audience.

Norton certainly has seen his fan base grow since joining the morning radio duo on WXRK (92.3 FM) and XM satellite radio. He's also working hard to reach new fans. Since taping the special at the beginning of the summer in Washington, D.C., Norton has published a best-selling book of essays, "Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch," launched an online series on SuperDeluxe.com and made the late-night TV rounds.

Most nights, he's working out new material at the Comedy Cellar or performing on the road. "The more big things you can do to put yourself in the public eye, the better," Norton tells the Daily News. "I've tried to keep very busy. If you're not always busy, you're going to sink like a big dumb rock. Now I don't have to face the terrifying implication that if this special bombs, I have nowhere else to go."

Even if he did, he could always rebound like Don Imus, whom Norton references in his special. "I figured he'd be back sooner or later," Norton says. "But now with the special coming out, it's perfect timing." He called Imus' firing by CBS Radio a disgrace, telling audiences: "Are we not allowed to make ugly jokes anymore?" Norton has plenty of those in store, not just for the Rutgers basketball team, but also Britney Spears, Heather Mills, Larry Flynt, televised poker players, Anna Nicole Smith and Sen. Hillary Clinton. Of Clinton, Norton wonders why anyone would hold her up to be a feminist role model: "All she did was stay with a guy who [bleeped] everybody."

His special's tag line says it all best: "Cover up and cringe." And yet, Norton says he'd rather not be referred to that way. "I don't think it should've ever applied to any comedian," he says. "None of it's cringe-worthy. I'm just a guy doing jokes about stuff in my life. Watching a snuff film or an Al-Zawahiri beheading - those are cringe-worthy things."

This story originally appeared in the New York Daily News.

Show & Tell: Dave Chappelle, Robin Williams

SNL may have had Chevy Chase back at the “Weekend Update” news desk last weekend, but audience members at the Comedy Cellar got even rarer treats late Saturday night as both Robin Williams and Dave Chappelle dropped in for unannounced performances at the city’s top comedy club.

That's Chappelle at about 1:53 a.m. Sunday, doing his thing. Note to self: Get a new phone. And to think, I'd just told Estee earlier that night that I always forget to bring my digital camera when things like this happen. (Bonus comedy nerd points if you know whose head that is in the lower left-hand corner of my photo)

Williams, shooting the film “Old Dogs” with John Travolta in Connecticut, performed a raunchy 20-minute routine just before midnight Saturday, complete with his trademark riffing and voices. But after joking about Lindsay Lohan, he got candid about his own recovery from alcoholism, telling the audience that “you realize that life is a precious thing” and telling comedians afterward that stand-up comedy and AA meetings are the two things helping him maintain his sobriety. He seemed very cool and collected and interested in how the other comics were doing. I'd talked to Williams offstage once about five years ago, and it reminded me that this is an even more interesting guy to talk to when he's not trying to be "on."

At the late late show, Chappelle took audience requests and laughed early and often at his own jokes for about 55 minutes. He said a woman suggested he read “The Secret” to help get over the $50 million deal he walked away from with Comedy Central. “Positive imagery? That’s the secret? Go to Africa and tell some starving kids that (expletive)!” He also can sing quite a bit of John Mellencamp’s 1982 hit, “Jack and Diane.” He told the audience: “Put that under song lyrics I didn’t know how the (expletive) I knew them for $1,000.”

Chappelle was turning heads on MacDougal Street all weekend, hanging outside the Cellar and Olive Tree Cafe with other comedians Friday, Saturday and Sunday. He declined most but not all photo requests from passersby, saying he didn't want to set a precedent that'd have him taking photos all night long. Fair enough. Very easygoing guy, considering all of the hassles he puts up with -- then again, he does spend a lot of time on his farm in Ohio. Which probably also explains why he comes back to NYC every once in a while to feed his need for laughs at the Cellar. He said he also likes to work out at the Punchline. At one point Sunday night, he turned to me and said, “My life is weird, man.” Didn’t need to tell us that, Dave!

Related: An edited version of my account appears in today's Rush and Molloy column.

How to get a spot on Letterman

Meet Eddie Brill. You want to get on The Late Show with David Letterman as a stand-up comedian? Well, you’re going to have to impress Brill first.

Eddie Brill is the comedy booker and audience warm-up comic for Letterman. On the weekends, Brill also tours the country as a club headliner, sometimes often scheduling a Letterman audition showcase around his travels.
On Tuesday night, however, he didn’t have to travel far. Gotham Comedy Club put 10 comics on for him as part of the New York Underground Comedy Festival. Two of the performers — Jeff Caldwell and Ted Alexandro — didn’t have as much to worry about. They’d already done Letterman once already. For the other comics, this was their big opportunity to let Brill know they’re ready for network TV.
So...how’d they do?
We went straight to Brill for answers, and guidance on how any comedian can make their way onto Letterman.

Brill said Caldwell is booked for Oct. 19. He wanted to see what Caldwell hoped to do onstage “so we can pick and choose” what’ll make it on-air. For Alexandro, Brill said he hadn’t seen him in a while, and “I wanted to see how he put it together.”
As for the others?
“ Joe DeRosa did a nice job. He was very good. I liked Pat Dixon. He has some work to do, though...Some of them I’ve seen for the first time,” Brill said. “I thought Bobby Kelly’s bit was hilarious, and I’m sure I can find other material from him to work around.”

Most comics you see are pros who’ve been performing for years. But are there any common mistakes you see them make in auditioning for you?
“People get nervous, obviously, and it shows in their act. You can’t be nervous on our show. What we’re looking for is poise.”

Are there some topics that work better than others in impressing you? Things you cannot say on Letterman?
“It’s pretty hard to tell someone what we’re looking for. If they wanted to they could easily call me and text me but a lot of them don’t.”

More than a few of the comics brought up religion. Is that a big no-no for TV?
“I’ve been talking about it a lot onstage myself...It’s a very uptight time, and comedians tend to hit those taboos.”
But isn’t it too taboo for Letterman?
“No. It’s not true at all. We’ve had Sam Kinison on Letterman, Bill Hicks on Letterman. Of course, there’s the history with Bill Hicks...”
Um, yeah.
“You have to be responsible and have a pespective that’s funny...as long as it’s an original perspective, it’s smart and it’s funny.”

What are the big mistakes you hear comics make in choosing material for you?
“Some people just talk a lot about drinking and getting high. That’s easy comedy. We try to stay away from that. Also, when a person comes out to do a set for television, they need to get the audience in the first 20 seconds. They have to establish that yes, they can do the job, they can make people laugh. Some people are too wordy, they take too long to get to the joke.”

How do the newbies tend to fare in your eyes?
“For a newbie, it depends. You can knock it out of the park, but most times they don’t. I’ll talk to them afterward...if they get what I’m talking about right away, that’s great. Sometimes they come back a few years later...It’s not something you can get right away. They may be funny comics...but they just don’t have the wherewithall yet. They don’t have their stage legs yet. Dave Chappelle hit a grand-slam home-run right out of the park, but most comics don’t do that.”

So how long then before they can come back and show you how much they’ve learned and improved?
“Probably six months to a year. Here’s the thing. I don’t have to see them live every time. I can see them on a tape or DVD. If they think they can get it two months later and send me a tape, great, we can work on it.
“I audition thousands of people all over the world. Next week, I’m going to London, Ontario, having an audition for Letterman. Two weeks after that, I’m going to do an audition in San Francisco. The week before I had an audition in Vancouver.”

And, of course, all of these comedians are competing for slots with the regular comedians Letterman has on every year.
“Sometimes it can take a year and a half. Again, it matters how many spots I get a year. Anytime one of the regulars has an HBO special or some kind of TV deal or movie coming out, we’d be more than happy to get them back on the program...This year, I think I had three new spots already. Last year, I had three new comics on. I always try to break somebody new.
“We had Nick Griffin. He signed with the company. Caldwell had one of the best sets ever. Roy Wood, Jr., had a great spot. We’re shooting for another one in the next month or two...”

The last time we talked in Montreal, you talked about trying to convince the show to add more slots for comedians. (He told me then that it was somewhere around one per week, maybe less.) How is that going?
“It’s always a struggle, but it’s worth the fight.”

Michael Ian Black looks for his demo

I spoke with Michael Ian Black while writing for the New York Daily News, and Black wasn't quite sure he'd be able to sell those readers on why they should see him perform.

He'd just released his first stand-up CD, "I am a Wonderful Man," on Comedy Central Records and was heading out on a fall tour Oct. 7 with longtime friend and collaborator Michael Showalter. But Black, after a rapid-fire exchange to determine that it is, in fact, me calling him at his Connecticut home, acknowledged that he was not sure he was ready for the Daily News readers.

"I feel like my sensibility and the Daily News readers' sensibilities don't mesh," he said. "They may not know who I am, or if they do know who I am, not care for me much...If they come to the show, they'll get a pat on the head, a hug, maybe a dollar. But I'm not sure they really care about me."

Most New York City comedy bloggers love you and Showalter and David Wain, though.
"We represent in some ways the best of New York, which is to say, we’re well, I'm only speaking in comparison to L.A., we’ve failed. We haven't achieved mainstream success in anything we've ever done, and in New York, that's sort of considered a badge of honor. You can hold you head high that you've failed in every single thing that you've done. You can't do that in L.A. But here it's a badge of honor...honestly, though, all I want to do is sell out."

Doesn't Comedy Central Records count?
"You think records sell?"

Maybe you just need to Dane Cook it up?
"I can't. I like Dane Cook, but I can't do what he does, which is be successful. When you open your album screaming 'White power, yay!" that's not a sign of success."

He then brings it back to us.
"Cops read the Daily News. Not my demo. Although you'll see some cool cops."

I mention running into a couple of cops while reporting a story today about filming the new George Clooney and Brad Pitt film in Brooklyn. He says he could never be like them because they're successful. I suggest he could be a sidekick in one of their movies.
"At best, I could be Casey Affleck. In my dream world I'm Casey Affleck."

So that's why you have to go on tour, then, to find your people?
"I've got to find my people somewhere. But I don't know that there's enough of them to be considered a people. We’re like the lowland gorillas. Endangered bordering on extinct. My fans are essentially disenfranchised young people, which is what I was. Now I'm disenfranchised and middle-aged."

You're not that disenfranchised, are you, now?
"Well, I am talking to you from my mansion in Connecticut. OK, it's not a mansion, but it's a very nice home, which I purchased with my easy money -- all that easy Sierra Mist money."

What made you decide to pursue stand-up?
"It is a craft that I have long admired and always feared. The reason I decided to do stand-up is the same reason I decided to go skydiving. It was so terrifying that it had to be good for me. When i jumped out of a plane, much like the first time i did stand-up, both occasions I threw up all over myself...But with skydiving, you do it once and go, OK, I did that. With stand-up, you do it once and you keep wanting to do it."

"It's one of the higher artforms. And I know most people will disagree with me on that...if you're a comedian and you go onstage in front of an audience, and perform for an hour to an hour and a half, where they know your job is to make them laugh, that's a mighty difficult task, and when it's done well, I think it's a mighty high artform."

What did you learn from your first stand-up tour with Showalter?
"I learned he needs to smoke every 45 miles. If you're driving. you can count on stopping every 45 miles either for a cigarette or coffee. Not for me. That's all for him."

He couldn't smoke out the window?
"I forbade him from doing it. It's such a pain in the ass to stop every hour."

Unless you planned your tour so each city was an hour apart.
"Yeah, we couldn't do that...well, Tiffany started with a mall tour...Maybe we could go from Waffle House to Waffle House. But then again, that's not our demo."

What about what you learned about doing stand-up?
"I learned a lot about how to attack material in terms of a night-to-night basis, how to alter things, how to listen to the audience, you learn something new every night. You have to remember, I've only been doing stand-up for a couple of years. So I'm very very new to stand-up so I'm very much on the upside of my learning curve -- which is probably not the best time to be putting out an album...But I like it. I'm proud of it. I think it's a good snapshot of what I'm doing, which will be of the utmost interest to my immediate."

How much did all of your contributions to VH1's "I love the 80s" help train you in the art of writing stand-up?
"Zero...you would think I would be able to translate those skills to stand-up...I'm not smart enough. I don't have those eureka moments where I say, 'If I just demonstrated those same skills that i so ably showed on 'I Love the 80s' and showed them onstage..."

What happened with the Comedy Central pilot, "Michael Ian Black Doesn’t Understand?"
"They decided two days ago that they did not need that pilot on their schedule for the upcoming year."

Can you sell the pilot elsewhere?
"I guess theoretically, yeah. But I'm moving on. I'm going to develop something else for them. They're a great company. They really are. I really like everybody over there."

I guess they wanted Mind of the Mencia more, though.
"He's doing something right. I can't tell you what it is, but he's doing it."

Most comedians say being married and having kids automatically gives you more material. Do you believe that?
"I'm just...(sigh)...I don't know...The truth is, I'm really just not like Ray Romano, where my life informs my stand-up. I don't have the ability to look at the foibles of my life and see the humor in it. I look at the foibles of my own life and wish I was dead. So it's different...I just try to write about what's interesting to me in the moment."

And what might that be these days?
"Panty lines. I'm sort of interested in panty lines and why women are so obsessed with panty lines. I guess the thought is, 'I hope he doesn't think I'm wearing underwear.' That's a funny line."

Do you try to write every day or do you jot down things when they come to you?
"Every day I say to myself, I'm going to devote an hour to writing jokes, and then I don't...I'm hoping to write jokes when I'm touring...I'm so busy doing other things that I haven't had the time, and when I say other things, I mean, of course, online Boggle. Writing jokes is really hard, and I don't have the energy to do it -- not when there's Boggle to be played."

Do you carry around a recorder or a pad, though?
"I really have to sit down and just start writing and then I'll go back and see if there's anything that can be construed as somewhat funny that I can go back and make into something larger."

Both Wain and Showalter now do Internet videos. Do you feel that’s something you want to do, need to do?
"It's definitely not something I feel the need to do. Would I do it? Yeah, if I have the right idea for it. I'm so lazy, the thought of devoting a lot of time to developing and making Internet videos really bums me out. If I lived in the city, perhaps I'd feel more jazzed up about it, but I live out in the wilds of Connecticut."

What about your other writing? Weren't you writing for Cracked magazine during its brief stint?
"I was editor at large. I destroyed that just like I destroyed everything else I've been a part of...I'm actually writing a book, it's called 'Michael Ian Black is a Celebrity Very Famous.' That'll come out next summer."

Is that based on your McSweeney's essays?
"Yes, well, I liked how that sounded, it is a funny title, a la 'I'm a Wonderful Man,' self-aggrandizing, that type of thing."

That can still win people over, though.
"If there's enough self-loathing behind it, then yes, it feels funny. Craig Kilborn probably couldn't get away with it. but I probably could."

What is Kilborn up to, anyhow?
"I don't know. I haven't spoken to him in weeks."

Related: His new CD

Related: His fall tour with Michael Showalter
Oct 7., The Gothic Theatre, Englewood CO
Oct 9., Neumos, Seattle WA
Oct 10., Aladdin Theater, Portland OR
Oct 12., The Fillmore, San Francisco CA
Oct 13., Ivar Theatre, Hollywood CA
Oct 14., The Courtyard House of Blues, Las Vegas NV
Oct 15., House of Blues, San Diego CA
Oct 24., Roxy Theatre, Atlanta GA
Oct 26., The Social, Orlando FL
Nov 29., Somerville Theatre, Somerville MA
Nov 30., The Fillmore at Theatre of Living Arts, Philadelphia PA

They're also at The Fillmore (Irving Plaza) in NYC on Dec. 1.