the comic's comic

TrendSpotting: Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin called me from Orlando, Fla., where he had just awoken from a post-Epcot slumber. Then again, he deserved a nap. As he told me, "We walked through 10 countries, around a lake. A lot of travel." Martin's stand-up comedy tour comes to Boston on Saturday — that's tonight, my friends, at the Berklee Performance Center. He's happy about that. Not so happy to learn he's here the same night and time as Denis Leary's Comics Come Home. "So I'm basically fighting their cause? S—, that's too bad. Maybe there'll be some people who are against them, so they'll come see me," Martin told me.

Lots of people are quick to try to compare Martin's dry delivery to either Steven Wright or Mitch Hedberg. Certainly, a few of Martin's initial jokes on his new CD/DVD, These Are Jokes, sound Hedbergian in tone, subject matter and cadence. But who else would think to "remix" their jokes with glockenspiel? Or introduce an interpreter (in Martin's case, Leo Allen)? On one joke in particular, though, I thought of another stand-up, my friend and Martin's friend, Val Kappa. The joke has Martin describing how he got his hair cut especially for the show, and told the stylist what he wanted, "but it must've come out, gay Beatle please!" I could just hear Val saying that in just that way. Only, as I pointed out to Martin, Val would be wearing a bandana, anyhow. Martin laughed, and reported he still sports the "gay Beatle" look. "Yeah, I just wanted to get the back cut, and she messed up the whole thing. I hope it'll grow back by the time I have to tape that special." That special is his hourlong Comedy Central show, which he'll tape at one of his last stops on this tour, next month in Austin, Texas.

I knew that Demetri and Val were friends because I saw her on his MySpace Top 8 earlier this year when he produced a "TrendSpotting" segment about MySpace for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Did he know that would land him thousands more new friends almost immediately? "That was a weird one, because I had a MySpace account, so to do a satirical piece and not acknowledge I had one would be disingenuous…I acknowledged I was on it and flashed the account, and it wasn't supposed to be all about mine, but I knew there'd be some repercussions. So yeah," he said. "I'm getting a little worn out on MySpace. I long for the days, when I was in college, we did not have cell phones. E-mail was just starting out. I sort of long for those days."

Martin will do another TrendSpotting segment when his tour hits Columbus, Ohio, and Ohio State. The trend: Youth involvement. But what's the trend, exactly? "I know there are tons of groups. My producer, Rory, has a list of groups and it's lengthy. I think there are 700 of them. It's pretty hardcore." Was he hardcore into student activities? "From high school to law school, I was involved in a lot of different things, president of a few…when my friends saw Rushmore, they said, 'Yeah, this reminded us of you.' (Comedy Central) has been great to me. From the get-go, they said 'We liked what you do, your sensibility…they're good, they're hands off, and at the end, they give me notes." And they don't make him wear suits like the other Daily Show correspondents. "Just my own corduroy jacket and knit tie." Martin also says it's been easy working with Microsoft. Microsoft Vista sponsors his comedy tour and supplies a full-service multimedia Web site: www.clearification.com

The site is kind of freaky at first, with the animated version of 33-year-old Martin moving around the screen, telling you jokes and describing the different parts of the site. Looks like something from the mid-to-late Beatles period, too, come to think of it. He also has a series of Web-only videos (webisodes, the old folks call 'em), with strong production values. "It's kind of cool," he said. "They let us do whatever we wanted. It's just freewheeling. It's cool that a corporation would be free and loose with it. It's been fun."

His DVD includes fun music videos and animation, too. For comics, of course, the real joy is watching two old sets at comedy clubs. About "An Earl Gig," in which Martin wore shorts, had a beard, a T-shirt that read "Dimitri" and showed off his many talents, including unicycling.  "That was a show where I made everything in the show. I made the clothes. I made the music. I did some drawings in the show. And I painted the poster. That was my first one-man show." And the unicycling? "Yeah, I learned that in high school," he said. "And that show was from like four years ago." About "An Earlier Gig," recorded at Caroline's in 1998: "Very short hair. I found it funny. I'll probably lose it anyways (the hair or the video?) so at least I'll have a record of it. It's only two minutes," he said. "I feel less afraid to try different things onstage. When I first started, I was just trying to tell jokes and get them to work," he said. "Now, I pace it differently. It's more narrative in structure. You can change it up because you're more yourself up there…just to really be yourself in front of a group of people and when you find yourself out there, you're on the right road." Are you talking about POV? "With time, it's less about pursuing it or finding some point of view, but just relenting and being yourself. It's not, 'Oh, I gotta get, what's my thing?' It's more, 'What am I thinking about?' That's where you find yourself."

Denis Leary on the 12th Comics Come Home

Right before jetting off on vacation last weekend, I managed to get Denis Leary on the phone to talk up Comics Come Home, which returns to Boston for a 12th year Saturday to raise money for the Cam Neely Foundation. Some of my interview got Tracked up today (observant Boston Herald readers should spot which paragraphs have been translated into Track-ese), so here is the full story…

Last year, Leary opened Comics Come Home with a videotaped clips package recounting the many flubs of President Bush. Knowing that last month, Leary and his band debuted a Mel Gibson song, I wondered what he might have up his sleeves this time around. "Actually, we're opening up with an expanded version of the Mel Gibson Blues, which also has an extra verse based on Mel's interview with Diane Sawyer," Leary told me. "It's not a tribute, because we all know the man and his background. I think everybody needs to single him out and know what he's thinking about."

"Every year, we try to do something that coincides with the number for the show," he said. "For No. 9, we had (Bruins legend) Johnny Bucyk alive and there, and then we had Ted Williams' head in a bucket from the freezer. We thought 12, that's the number of the apostles, which is the name of our production company…I think people are going to be very happy when they see the set of the show."

Considering what Leary had to say about religion (and particularly Catholicism) in his 2005 Comedy Central Christmas special, you can pretty much expect something outrageous at Agganis Arena. The show, as always, benefits the Cam Neely Foundation for Cancer Care and the Neely Cancer Fund at Tufts-New England Medical Center. The lineup for year 12 tentatively includes Eddie Brill, Bill Burr, Greg Fitzsimmons, Don Gavin, Kevin Knox, Bob Marley, Brad Mastrangelo, Patrice Oneal, Kenny Rogerson, Steve Sweeney and Steven Wright.

"You're booking around, thank God, the schedules of some of the guys who have become successful," Leary said. "Dane Cook is in Rhode Island filming, so we're at the mercy of his production schedule. Last year, we didn't think he was going to make it, but at the last second he did, so we'll see how it goes this time. And Lenny Clarke is in L.A. filming that new midseason (TV) show with Rob Corrdry. I think that makes it exciting, because you don't actually know who's going to show up…they might not expect to see who they're going to see."

Does it help Comics Come Home if the Bruins are winning? (Note: I talked to him before last night's BRUTAL loss to the Habs) "I try not to think about the Bruins too much, because I'm trying to save that pain for Christmas. But I think it helps. It's just really hard to be around these guys. It's bizarre...Through Cam, I've become friends with so many of these guys…I'll put it into context for you." Last year, Comics Come Home also broadcast a video reel of Cam Neely's greatest hits as a Bruin. "Him and I are watching it, I'm thinking in my head, I'm wondering what he's thinking…there's like 8,000 people in the audience and they're cheering. He turns to me, 'You know what I miss?' I think he's going to say the teamwork and the camraderie and he says: 'Just beating the crap out of guys. If I could do that twice a week in Boston in traffic, I'd be fine.'"

This is the second year Comics Come Home will play its largest venue yet, the Agganis Arena. Any lessons learned from last year? "The thing we learned is how much money we could make, which is fantastic, but there's also not a bad seat in the house." Leary said his family came and sat in various seats around the arena, all reporting back with great reviews. "It's good for hockey, it's good for comedy. That's all I know. I don't know if you can still get tickets, but you better hurry."

D.L. Hughley on Studio 60

I had the pleasure of spending some quality time last night with D.L. Hughley, one of the Original Kings of Comedy, and a star of NBC's new hourlong drama (?), Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Hughley and I had talked on the phone earlier yesterday, some of the results of which you can read here. Hanging out with him in the green room of the Comedy Connection, though, you truly get a sense of how focused and balanced this guy is — listening to him talk logically and eloquently about Iraq, North Korea, Darfur, education, health care, then watching him get up, walk onstage and deliver another hour-plus (and the plus can be plussss, depending upon how much crowd work Hughley feels like putting in) of laughs. He also was quite honest and forthright about how he views his current primetime network TV opportunity. Everyone is bringing their A games to the table, he said.

When I asked him earlier if he has gotten to the point yet where he wants to stand up during a table read and yell, "Don't you know I'm an Original King of Comedy," Hughley knew to instinctively fill in the "God Damnit!" I had on my screen but didn't say. "What's funny is, it's about comedy," he told me. "Comedy is something people, to their detriment, all think they're experts. They all think they can tell a joke. They all think they know someone who's the funniest person in the world." Hughley, on the other hand, has been telling jokes for a living for two decades now, which means he actually qualifies more as an expert on this sort of thing. Except Studio 60 isn't quite a comedy, even though it's about a comedy show. Which makes these initial episodes all the more odd — or is it odder? Either way, Hughley recognizes what other comedians and fans have seen: the show hasn't quite brought the funny yet.

How much of the chatter among fellow comedians has he heard? "I know the cast from Saturday Night Live is very rabid about the show. I know that. I think it's more vainglorious than anything else. They like anything about them, and by them, I mean us….But you've had shows about newspapers and newspaperpeople can't get enought about them."

What about from your comedy friends? "They'd like to see more skits. They'd like to see more comedy." That's what most viewers were expecting. "Anytime you do a show about sketch comedy, they think that's all they'll see." Hughley acknowledged, though, than even he wasn't up on his Moliere (subject of a supposed sketch earlier this season that no one saw), and said he, too, wanted to see the Crazy Christians sketch that caused so much hubbub in the first two episodes. More of the skits and jokes are making it into the show, slowly but surely. Hughley, like many of us, would like to see even more comedy. That may happen soon enough, if its Nielsen ratings continue to bleed (Note: You can watch Studio 60 online, though, so maybe the ratings aren't as valid). More likely, though, you'll see the show moved out of its 10 p.m. Monday slot to 9 p.m. on another night. NBC won't and shouldn't dump Aaron Sorkin's show, but they need to 1) let him know that a show about comedy should be funny and accessible, and 2) give him a chance to build an audience in a worthy timeslot.

Getting back to Hughley, though. I wondered if the ABC network executives visited him on the set of The Hughleys as much as Amanda Peet's character visits Studio 60. "You know what, every day," he said. "And I haven't seen one yet (on Studio 60). Which tells you the difference between Aaron Sorkin and D.L. Hughley. I was on ABC at the same time that Sorkin had SportsNight. And I'll tell you, it wasn't uncommon to see a lot of Jamie Tarsis."

My suggestion? Get rid of the inflatable mannequins that serve as the "audience" and put some real people in those seats, at least to film the sketch comedy show scenes (sorry, Joe Biggins!). Then you'll see whether your show about a sketch comedy show has any sense of reality — if you can't imagine any of the sketches airing on primetime network TV (yes, we're talking Moliere again, although I might see a way to make it funny, so call me, Sorkin!), then you shouldn't be having them as plot points.

Robert Klein, still standing up

Robert Klein had a funny recollection of his first professional performing gig in Boston four decades ago. He performs in Newton Saturday and Sunday.

"I'm still a well-kept secret, performing in person," Klein said. "I mean, I'm not a big tour guy. I do a lot of work as a stand-up comedian…but now I do much more corporate stuff." Tell me something we don't know. "I took a lot of time off this summer. A little time visiting Richard Belzer in France…pretty much taking it easy." His memoirs, covering his early years from 9 to 25, are now in paperback. "I got to take part in the sexual revolution, which was a lot more fun than either the French or the Bolshevik revolutions. No one was shooting at you. And number two, no AIDS."

As for his comedy writing, Klein said: "98 percent of it comes from improvisation. Initally, ideas come out of my head onstage. I record them to tape. I listen to them afterward and think about them, make suggestions." He said with a guy like George Carlin, all of the stage hands know exactly what to expect from one show to another. "I have this Second City bug in me, '65, '66, that's where my career started. I can't do the same show twice, ever. There's a lot of set pieces, I wouldn't change a punchline…but there's certain things you can do."

Don't bother asking him what he thinks about the current state of stand-up. "I'm not the biggest judge of that. I love show business. God bless it. Forty-one years. I wouldn't know what else to do…but when the meter is off, it's nice to get away from it. I'm not rushing out to see the latest comedian." He did, however, once host a cable comedy show called "New Joke City" that featured up-and-comers. "I did present something like several dozen comedians. I felt a lot of them were funny."

"I think America has dumbed down a lot since I started. A part of it is they don't read anymore. I became an author just when people stopped reading. People have the attention spans of, you know, tick mice at this point. Computers are fantastic things. I wrote a book on one, but I can't fathom anything else about them. I'm afraid that young people to come won't know the heft of a book, holding one, the process of reading and finding proper light…Everything has to be in your face. Lacking subtletly. I did a special I was part of…for Rodney Dangerfield. The cutting was so distracting to me, but they know their audience, Comedy Central."

Lewis Black has said that scandals and outrages are happening so frequently it's hard for him as a comedian to keep up. Klein said: "I don't chase too much what's happening today, unless I'm on Bill Maher. That will get so old so quickly by the time HBO comes out. And the box set (which will include all of his HBO specials, dating back to 1975, would make the material even more outdated)."

What about that tape recording he listens to of his new material, does Klein learn much? "The audience has told me already." So if a joke doesn't work, "you don't just give up, though. You might be able to do it better the next time." About comedians and politics, Klein said that Lewis Black was the best thing about Man of the Year. "I confess that (The Daily Show), which I don't see that often, is very good. Bill Maher is getting touted now. It's good that people can speak their minds. Americans around the age of their 20s and 30s, it's said they get their political information from these shows. That's bad. Because it's very funny, but it's all about how it's bad, it's all bulls–t, so why vote?" But Klein said humor is the best way to get your points across, and maintain that within humor, political cartoons are even better. Those images get ingrained in your mind, Klein said, whether it's Bush being dumb or Gore being boring. "But nobody would take Clinton for a fool. He was a Rhodes Scholar, at least from the waist up. From the waist down, he's a high school equivalency. But nobody would call him a fool."

Steven Wright's first special in decades

Steven Wright's first TV stand-up comedy special in 15 years, "Steven Wright: When the Leaves Blow Away," premieres at 9 p.m. tonight on Comedy Central (repeats at 11 p.m. tonight, 10 p.m. Monday).

The hourlong special shows Wright is still as funny as he was when Bostonians and everyone else first heard his unique yet simple takes on life back in the late 1970s and early 1980s.

Wright was kind enough to talk with me at length. Then again, most other comics, from wily vets to newcomers, say the same thing about him. At any rate. He told the audience at last month's Boston Comedy Festival to "trust your gut" and "you have to take risks," whether it's about comedy or anything else. Does taping your first TV special in 15 years count as a risk? Wright initially told me what he has told other interviewers. "I don't know. Maybe I should've. I just…I hadn't done one in so long. All comedians notice stuff. That's where the comedy comes from, from noticing things, but I didn't really notice that the time had gone by so fast, which is strange…I would look out at the crowd at the theater as they're coming in, there were 20-year-olds, and 30s, but mostly they were in their 40s and 50s and 60s. Which is fine. But the people who are in college now were 5 when I did my last one…The young people might think I'm the guy on the couch from Half Baked. Which I am. I did that. But they might not know that I did comedy. Will the young people be into it like the old people?"

At the BCF, Denis Leary said he was shocked to learn that his Emerson College classmate Wright had started stand-up comedy a year after they graduated. What did your classmates expect you to be doing? "I was so laidback and such a quiet, introverted person, which I kind of am in a way still, but I was way more at that time. Anyone who knew me in high school…the notion of me going onstage, it was opposite of my character." And Wright has said he was initially afraid to do stand-up. "I was focusing on radio when I was at Emerson. I was going to try to be a guy on the radio. I didn't think that this would happen. I fantasized about it and thought I would try it, but the other half of me thought this would never happen, so I better have something else going on. I thought being on the radio and saying funny things would be cool."

Wright's right, of course. And he did appear as the DJ on the soundtrack to Reservoir Dogs. Did you think you'd still be doing comedy at 50? "When I started doing this, I never thought about how long. I didn't think about that. I just wanted to someday go on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. That was my goal. That was my fantasy, because I loved him. I loved the show. I loved the comedians on there. He affected my life. He affected my life twice. First, he affected it by making me want to become a comedian, and then he affected it by having me on there…Then when I traveled around and did shows year after year, I never thought about how long this would go. Sometimes I don't think ahead. But now that you're asking me that, now that I am that age, if someone asked me when I was 23 when I started, if a fortune teller told me that I'd still be doing this 27 years from now, I'd be amazed. Wow."

Did you realize what impact your Tonight Show appearance would have on the Boston scene? "Now I see that it was an example of the fantasy that could come true. That's how I, if I did that, other people could do that, too. It made the dream a reality, not just for me but inspired other people to go on there. I think Kevin Meaney went on there, Jack Gallagher, Jimmy Tingle, Goldthwait, Paula Poundstone. So it showed that it could happen. I was lucky that the talent coordinator, Peter Lassally, liked me." Wright went on about Carson, though. "He always wanted you to do great. You could tell that. He really wanted you to get the laugh sitting there. Even though he was this giant legend guy, you felt he could relate to you because you were both comedians. You both felt that connection."

Of course, many young comics look to Wright as a giant legend guy. "I don't know if they consider me a giant legend guy. I know that I looked up to him and George Carlin and Woody Allen. And now some people tell me I influence them and they watched me when they grew up. Because to me, I'm just me. But then I have to step out of it and say, well, I guess. You don't think of that. You're so focused about just doing the show and hopefully having a good set that you're not really thinking of an overall impact. It's fascinating to me because, like I said, to me I'm just me, so to have that, it's kind of weird."

We talked a little bit about things we have in common. We also compared notes about the impact of crowd sizes. The smallest crowd Wright has performed in front of? "In the early days, 15 or 10-11 people. A weeknight, late at night, you're on last, it's just bizarre. It makes what you're doing, it makes it seem like a crazy angle to it. You're not only a comedian. You're also a crazy person. I don't know how it does that. The awkwardness because if you weren't up there, the awkwardness wouldn't be happening, so you being up there means you're to blame for the awkwardness, even though it's not you, it's the situation." Some comics point out the situation right away. Wright? "I think I would just try to do my act regular, so it was probably extra weird."

His previous specials aired on HBO. Tonight's debuts on Comedy Central. "Way more people see Comedy Central than HBO, I guess, because it comes with the regular cable package, and there's people like devoted to that channel. So we thought it would reach more people. It also has a younger base, I think, than HBO, so I think for trying to introduce me to a bunch of people who don't know me, it's really a good place to go. And they're hoping some of the older fans I've had for years and years would get drawn to watch me there and then they'd watch some of the other stuff, too."

Do you ever get an impulse to go see another comic perform anymore? "If I know someone who's performing, I might go out to specifically see them, like Kevin Meaney or Schimmel, or Gilbert Gottfried," he said. "I don't usually see the new people unelss I go out to try some new jokes. I've done that in the Comedy Studio. So in waiting to go on, I'd see these other people."

A lot of the new comics say you're very helpful with advice, which is something comics wish they'd get more often from established stand-ups. Wright says it's no bother. "I like talking to them," he said. "I just tell them simple things. You know, pretty basic things. They're hard to do, but it's basic."

Marc Maron moves past bitterness to anger

Air America may have declared bankruptcy this week, but that wasn't my first question for former morning radio guy (and always bitingly funny) Marc Maron, who comes back to Boston (well, Somerville) for shows tonight and tomorrow at Jimmy Tingle's place.

No, my first question was about his current effort to upload all 36(!) clips of his Conan appearances onto his MySpace site. "I'm glad that those are working," Maron told me. "I just learned how to do this stuff. I'm stupid with it. But I got this good machine…like most people, when you buy toys you don't read the directions. You just want to use it…it's ridiculous when you walk into the Apple store and ask them, 'How do you turn this on?'" He said YouTube was giving him some issues, since all of the Conan appearances have NBC copyrights.

But about Air America. "It was all a very convoluted thing at the time. I was being pushed out by this CEO who didn't like me." A backlash against the CEO led to Maron's L.A. radio show, which Air America picked up, but that also ended over the summer. "It was just a long, harrowing experience," he said. "I plan to get back on the air somehow or another. I'm a little spoiled. I don't want to sit out in my garage and do a podcast. I've looked into streaming. You may be able to do it cheaply, but to do quality…would be a lot of production and time. I'd rather do that with a real station with some momentum behind me. I like it. Like doing it. I like the format." And lots of other funny people still want to do radio, which prompts me to mention recent radio turns by David Lee Roth and Whoopi Goldberg, among others. "All the radio guys know what the score is. If you have a drivetime radio show and you're breaking in a new show, if it's a new guy and a new crew…It's an intimate medium. You're sitting in your car with these people (who have) self-centered egos…most people are like that. But it's going to take a year and a half to two years to build an audience. That's just the reality." Maron notes how Howard Stern had decades of training and people literally grew up listening to him, so putting anyone in to try to replace that would take time. "No one wants to take the time anymore. That's the problem with this DIY culture…I've sat across from executives…I've been doing this for 25 years, but they say to me, 90-second clips, that's where it's at!?"

Maron also just scheduled another Letterman appearance, taping it Oct. 30 to air Nov. 3, and already has taped a Comedy Central Presents half-hour, which he said went "great." "I was overwhelmed with goodness," he said. "I had a lot of fans from the radio show. People were excited to be there. I've turned some corner in my attitude toward comedy. I really like doing it these days. It used to be a weird almost battle for me, to find out how I was going to engage with the audience."

Two Girls For Five Bucks

Cathleen Carr and Daiva Deupree met years ago through Improv Asylum, and they've returned to Boston and IA with a limited engagement show of their own that deserves your attention. Their aptly-named "Two Girls For Five Bucks" began its run Oct. 5 and continues at 10 p.m. Thursdays through Nov. 9.

They begin simply enough, sitting next to each other, facing the audience and describing what they've learned about love from their parents. Whether true or not, it's no matter. They ably set up the rest of the show through this opening confessional, playing off of each other throughout various sketches about love and relationships, with Deupree's characters invariably wilder and carrying more psychological and emotional baggage. The show has nice pacing, building throughout Act One to a winning Platoon climax. And their chemistry is great. Whether they're acting out awkward conversations with ex-boyfriends or imagining the scenario for loooonely war brides in WWII, these two know how to co-exist in a scene, allowing Carr and Deupree to shine equally. Many duos don't sustain such balance, instead prompting you to wish you could see one more than the other.

Both Carr and Deupree commit to their characters and scenes with such abandon that you willingly go along with them for the ride. A recurring skit about two wholly inappropriate employees from Human Resources gets progressively crazier, to good effect. A couple of "silent" scenes show they can generate laughs without getting too chatty, although when they do let loose, their personal stories about their first sexual experiences and their lack of magical expertise are both humorous and heartfelt. It's all thoroughly enjoyable.

Related: Become their friends on MySpace

A comedian for president?

The premise behind the movie, Man of the Year, which suggests that a late-night TV host could become president. Sort of. Anyhow. Here are some additional thoughts from comedians on the subject.

From Lewis Black, who plays the joke-writer/speechwriter for Robin Williams in the movie. When is the right time for a comedian to run for president? "Yeah, when Christ returns and there is total peace on Earth, then you might want to have someone who just tells jokes. Then, but only then." Black said he had some input on the script, sitting around with writer/director Barry Levinson and co-stars Williams, Christopher Walken and Laura Linney to talk out the plot and figure out speeches and jokes. But what if people wanted you to run? "My official stance is I would never run, because I would only use it to get laid on a regular basis." He said the trappings of the office offer too many diversions, from a bowling alley in the White House to a boat to anything else he probably could think to ask for. "And it wouldn't be for good!" Most presidents wake up early, but he wouldn't. "I would be asleep by five in the morning." No, but seriously. "I did some political stuff for a while. It just made, it wasn't, the people who do it made me crazy." Of course, Black's act often revolves around people and things that drive him nuts. It wasn't always that way. "There was a time when 20 percent of my act was politics," he recalled. "I like talking about the weather." On Conan the other night, Black tried out a new bit about neuticles, which are implants for neutered pets. Yes. Exactly. "You saw that? That's my new breakthrough piece!" But back to politicians. "These guys are just taking up so much of my time," he said. "I go yeah, OK, I can get off on this, but then they keep giving me more!" As he noted in this summer's HBO special, Lewis Black: Red, White and Screwed, it's almost too much to handle at this point. That might be why it's so timely to talk about a comedian saying what needs to be said to the politicians. "I think it's a fun thing to throw out there. It's the right place, right time."

From Jimmy Tingle, who runs Jimmy Tingle's Off Broadway Theatre in Somerville: He said that some entertainers look for something more fulfilling to do after 25-30 years of performing. But he added, "That's a very rare person who wants to completely go into the day-to-day tediousness and give-and-take of day-to-day politics. Because it's much bigger than making a speech." He understands why people would create Stewart/Colbert T-shirts, because Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert can cut through the rhetoric with satire. "Jokes are basically soundbites," Tingle said. "That's why Stewart and Colbert are so successful. Not ony are they funny, but they also have artistic and creative freedom to say whatever the heck they want. That's something politicians don't have." And that's not even something Tingle had when he delivered commentaries years ago on CBS' 60 Minutes II. "They wanted commentary about everyday life. They didn't want to do politics. They didn't want to do issues. They wanted bottled water, parking tickets, things people can relate to."

From Doug Stanhope, who grew up in Worcester and has a Stanhope for President MySpace page seeking the Libertarian Party nomination. When Stanhope performed at the Abbey Lounge last month as part of the Boston Comedy Festival, he told fans after his show that in truly libertarian fashion, he doesn't want to be in charge. "I don't want to be president," he said then. "There shouldn't be any president."

Gaffigan goes beyond the pale

Jim Gaffigan is one of the truly nicer and funnier guys I know. And I'm saying that even before typing in the part of the interview where he brings me down a peg or two. We talked recently while Gaffigan had a break from recording the upcoming TBS comedy, My Boys, which debuts around Thanksgiving. "It's a million miles away when I think about it. Thanksgiving!"

Last night on Conan, Gaffigan celebrated the unveiling of an all-new Pale Force cartoon and a new page on Conan's NBC online home for the series. "We've done three episodes of Pale Force and it'll be interesting to see how popular Pale Force could get, or if people will go…not interested! People will love something that makes fun of someone of Conan's status."

"I remember meeting you. You might identify with some of the pale thing. Because you're a pale guy. It's funny, because when I performed in Boston, and since the Pale Forces have started, there's been a lot of pale people coming to the show. It's the opposite of white pride. When you're really pale, you think, geez, I'm the only one who spent an hour putting on sunscreen."

Did you have any idea that people would take to "Beyond the Pale" the way they have to specific bits like Hot Pockets? "On my Website, it's weird, you never know, you just try to do something funny, and I had no idea, with the Hot Pocket, how many us eat as poorly as me…People who come to my shows. There's the pale contingent. But there's also a number of people who were not pale but came in these Pale Force T-shirts." That's weird. "The weird thing is, there's always a certain number of pale people at my show. There's like the pale 15-year-old kid, the pale goth girl who's 23, the pale 40-year-old couple." So all the main pale demos, eh? "Yes, all the scientific pale demographics."

"When I get my photograph taken, I always have red eye. And a lot of people don't. If you've ever had red eye in a photograph, there's always a certain amount of humiliation when you look at a photo with your friends and you're the only one with red eyes — you look like you signed a contract with the devil."

Albinos must have it as rough as pale people, though, right? "That's got to be tough. I'm pale, but I have blue eyes. That's got to be real tough. In Pale Force, we fight crime with our paleness. We shoot lasers from our nipples." Um, OK. Go on? "When I was in high school and used to wrestle, I'd be in my singlet, and I'd be in great shape. The opponent would look at me and say, Oh s–-t, look at how pale that guy is!" Whether it's Pale Force or Hot Pockets or his manatee joke, Gaffigan said he has no control over which ones become more popular than others. "People who enjoy your stuff really latch onto certain ideas."

For My Boys, TBS shot a pilot and ordered 12 more episodes of the ensemble comedy. "The TBS promo thing is very funny and I always get nervous," he said. "The last thing you'd brag about is your ability to be funny. I've always…it's a crapshoot kind of thing. The fact that it's TBS' first scripted comedy and the fact taht they have such a success and track record (on TNT) with The Closer and Saved, these guys know what they're doing. It's just a completely different experience when you're putting a show on one of the classic networks, like CBS." Which Gaffigan did years ago. "It's why good shows tend to show up on cable networks. They give them a shot to find an audience."

Craig Ferguson, winging it late-night, soberly

When Craig Ferguson called me up Tuesday afternoon, it was still morning in L.A., where he wasn't quite sure what his monologue topic would be for that night's Late Late Show. "I think today, what I'm going to talk about is Man of the Year, the movie about a talk show host becoming president."

Would he ever consider a run himself? "Not for me, because I wasn't born in the United States, so it'd be Constitutionally impossible."

Ah, but they've talked about amending that for Ah-nold, so why not you, too? "When you think about it, you have to feign interest when you talk to unpleasant people. It's perfectly plausible for politics…(show business, too)…so yes, it'd probably be fairly good training. I think if I start wearing a tie, that might be a sign." As a Scottish immigrant, do you think it's odd that us Americans still celebrate Columbus Day? "I'm an immigrant, and I had to work. There's a certain irony to that." He started to offer more, then reconsidered. "I don't have my citizenship yet. If I don't watch what I say, I'd be back in the old country faster than I could say. I'd be back mud farming!"

Do you think there is a certain charm to taking over a TV show from Craig Kilborn? "Jon (Stewart) and I talked about it. It certainly doesn't hurt. I don't know what it is, but we've both done OK."

Do you feel like you've learned a lot about hosting a show in America since taking over in 2005? "It's about being yourself, really. I've lived in America now for 13 years, so it's not, I don't feel like I'm new to it anymore…I've been around here for a while. It's where I'm most at home…I don't really have any agenda or platform or kind of manifesto about doing it." And hosting an American talk-show is much different from his past experience in the U.K. "That was just some old nonsense on the BBC. That was just a comedy show. In Britain, a full season is six episodes…here, I've probably done close to 400 episodes, I guess. It must be more than 400. Jesus! The volume is different here. The idea of doing a show every night is crazy. It's relentless and weird. But I'm relentless and weird, so it works for me." He tries to avoid his monologue when it comes to stand-up. "You can try to revisit topics. But you don't want to do things I've already done on the air." Stand-up is "for things that wouldn't be prudent to talk about on-air. For me, it's really a way to blow off steam."

Mel Gibson and Mark Foley continue to make headlines, using alcholism as an excuse for their bigger problems. Ferguson hasn't been shy about his drunken past. "For me, I got drunk and did a lot of stupid things. I still felt that it wasn't, no one else got me drunk. If I wanted to stop getting drunk and doing stupid things, I had to stop getting drunk. It doesn't negate personal responsibility, just because you were full of liquor. It's still you. It may be a reason, but it's not an excuse." He continued: "I wear it loosely. I'm happy to talk about that stuff. I don't care. The only thing I'm wary of, when you talk about your past…they think I'm a saint. I'm really kind of trying to be careful to point out I haven't stopped being an a–hole. I've simply stopped being a drunken a–hole."

Ferguson is happy to make a stop in Boston, saying he has family in Vermont. And he has an old connection to Dane Cook. They both appeared in a short-lived ABC sitcom a decade ago. Of Cook, Ferguson said, "He wasn't that young. I think he has a good hair dye job!" Kidding aside, did he see anything then that could've predicted Cook's current fame? "I never make any predictions in show business," Ferguson said. "The best stand-up I ever saw in my life was Bill Hicks. The year Bill Hicks died, they said the best stand-up comedian was Carrot Top. So what can you figure?"

Quotes from Jon Stewart, live in concert

More words and wisdom from Jon Stewart, dispensed onstage Friday night at the Wang Theatre in Boston. On the Wang Center…
"This is, by far, the nicest Wang I've ever seen."
"It sounds like a holistic healing center for your d—…we'll wrap it in kelp."

On gays wanting to be in the St. Patrick's Day parade: "You don't want anything to take away from the dignity of that parade." On gays wanting to be in the Boy Scouts: "Already the gayest organization ever." On gays being an abomination in the Bible: "You what else is an abomination? Shellfish. Where's that sign?!"

Acknowledging his sex talk onstage: "Wha? You're not the nice man from the television show. This s— gets weird when it's live."

On science? "They're working on cloning? We have six billion people…f—ing is working!" "Billions of dollars to make a sheep that looks exactly like another sheep." That's the whole point of sheep, he said. That's why you count them to fall asleep.

On man ruining the planet: "As far as the Earth is concerned, we're a mild case of eczema."

On how Bush gets away with so much: "He doesn't care. Clinton cared, but he cared too much. In a creepy way."

On Vice President Cheney: "The guy hasn't done one thing right yet." But Bush still trusts him. Why? The only thing Stewart would trust Cheney with? "Dead hooker in a hotel room."

When he lost his place, someone from the crowd shouted "Jews and Blacks!" "I love hearing a crowd in Boston just shouting out Jews and Blacks! There's a hint of danger in it!"

SNL 32.1: Dane Cook/The Killers

Saving the best for last is not the phrase you want associated with Saturday Night Live. Alas, such was the case on the Sept. 30 32nd season-opener, hosted by Dane Cook. The final sketch of the night was a parody of the current Geico TV ads, with Andy Samberg playing the real-life customer and Maya Rudolph as Whitney Houston, his celebrity helper. It's not on YouTube yet (despite what Cook said in his monologue) but NBC has featured it online.

But back to the recap...
Season 32 begins with a "cold open" of an unwanted President Bush at a campaign for comptroller in South Carolina. I couldn't help but immediately think to Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, the Aaron Sorkin un-SNL show, and the scene in which Matthew Perry's character challenges the writers to come up with something fresher than a Bush-mocking "cold open" skit. But there you have it. I'm smelling a theme. That theme smells like stale (fill in the blank with anything you want, including the word stale).
Roll opening credits. They look nice and big and pretty.
What about your host Dane Cook? Does he look nice and big and pretty?
Well, he does jump into a crouching position. Then he grabs a mike to remind himself that he's a stand-up comic, not a TV host, and begins his monologue by defending himself against negative people. "Don't you try to bring me down, naughty people." Except isn't this negativity essentially the premise of EVERY Debbie Downer skit? Rachel Dratch isn't in the cast anymore, so who'll remember that? Oh. Right. Dane also uses a Danism (one of his words that sounds funny because he changes the word around) by saying, "N-U-T-O-matic" to describe the facial tells of women vs. men when they're lying. He also has a bit about when you hear someone committed suicide, you always think about happy memories of them, but want to know how they did it, and that leads to how everything you've ever wanted to see is on YouTube, with an obligatory miming of him punching a keyboard, and look, it's A:F6. (NOTE: As of Monday afternoon, there were 328 videos on YouTube claiming to be the A:F6 video! What lengths people will go to grab onto the gravy train!) Dane closes with a bit about a 217-car pileup, and how everyone is happy they're not at fault except for the last driver. Somehow, this joke sounds very familiar. But I digress.

Department of Homeland Security TSA skit. More absurd than funny. The cast makes this funnier than the material. This won't be the last time this happens.
"Hugo Chavez Political Roundup" on Venezuelan TV, with the leaders of Iran, Pakistan and North Korea (and a cameo from Saddam Hussein). Fred Armisen as Chavez and Amy Poehler as Kim Jong-Il are very funny and keep this skit afloat.
An SNL Digital Short — "Cubicle Fight" — Sorry. Better luck next week.
"Al Pacino checks his bank balance" — Um, why?
Weekend Update. A pre-Update skit with actual NBC anchor Brian Williams comes off well. The actual Update, with new co-anchor Seth Meyers, clocks in at about 15 minutes. Fifteen minutes?! With several sideshows, including Darrell Hammond as Clinton, Maya Rudolph as Condi Rice, Jason Sudeikis as Sen. George Allen and Andy Samberg as Dustin Diamond. They're all competent enough, but the material just doesn't support this loooooooong routine.
Dumb water guys. Even Dane Cook and Will Forte know how dumb this is, acknowledging it at the end of the skit in meta fashion. The only funny thing in the scene isn't even spoken. It's the offscreen antics, pushing more and more water bottles into the scene.
Farah Fawcett (Amy Poehler) is loose and funny, and having her stumble into the next skit is really kinda funny. But that next skit, about mean bouncers, just doesn't have a single laugh in it. Oh well. The Geico ad spoof with Samberg and Rudolph. Again, it's probably the funniest skit just on its own. So why didn't this open the show? Who knows.