Tom Segura spends way too much time in downtown Los Angeles, which isn't like spending time in your downtown, as he explained last night on Conan. Segura also explained what it means to have a face tattoo (not from his own personal experience, though), and how there are three different kinds of stupid people.
Let him break it down for you. Roll it!
Comedy Central kicked off its 2011 season of half-hour "Presents" on Friday night with Tom Segura. If you can imagine Patton Oswalt telling jokes, and also imagine Mike Bridenstine telling jokes, and then imagine the two of them telling jokes at the same time as one person, then you're not confused at all by Segura.
If you're imagining too many voices talking at the same time, then let me help clear things up, with this clip of Segura talking about people who don't have teeth, even when they have many millions of dollars to spend on teeth. Roll it!
If you enjoyed Segura's half-hour CCP, then you'll likely also enjoy his full-length CD, Thrilled, which comes in just shy of an hour from Rooftop Comedy and includes several of the bits you saw on the TV.
Need more convincing? More clips, then!
Sorry for only catching word of this now, but Showtime is in the middle of taping six new comedy specials in Southern California as part of the LOL Comedy Festival. Three specials taped on Sunday, another three on Monday; all in Los Angeles. Here are the details:
Hot Tamales: Kiki Melendez hosts, with Amy Anderson, Nikki Payne, Jill Michele Melean, Kira Soltanovich, Nadine Rajabi, Thea Vidale, and Valentino.
The Indian Slam includes Charlie Hill, plus Larry Omaha, Howie Miller, and others.
Also last night: Angelo Tsarouchas
For Monday, the program begins with Slanted Comedy, hosted by Edwin San Juan and featuring Paul Ogata, Joey Guila, Bernadette Galatas, Ron Josol, Dan Gabriel.
Russell Peters hosts his own special Monday with appearances by Ruben Paul, Jason Rouse, Tom Segura and Paul Varghese.
Pauly Shore also hosts a taping Monday with Last Comic Standing winner Iliza Shlesinger, Carl LaBove, Sammy Shore and Steve Rannazzisi.
The New Faces of Comedy showcase is Montreal's version of the Best New Artist Grammy. Most of the 16 stand-ups selected for this week's showcases have several years of experience onstage, but they're new in the eyes of industry scouts, because this is the first step up the festival ladder. A few of the acts don't yet have agents or managers. Is that a good thing?
Maria Bamford (one of this year's Masters performers) and I talked briefly about this yesterday. I saw a comedian get an agent and manager -- which quickly resulted in a spot on Conan and headlining club dates -- out of the Aspen fest this winter. Worked out good for him. But Bamford, who once got two new representation offers out of a festival, said it can almost be like last call at a bar. "Who's the hottest one left here?" she said in one of her trademark voices. "And then the relationship has nowhere left to go." So there's that side of the coin, too.
The comics here aren't thinking like that, though. They're looking to be discovered.
How are they doing?
Last night, I caught half of the New Faces, and several members of the first group devoted most of their time trying to connect to the local Montreal audiences at Kola Note (which should be noted, is the most remote venue at the fest -- perhaps another reminder that the New Faces have a ways to go yet). Michael McIntyre (who sounded a bit like Stewie from Family Guy, but not, despite the fact that the FOX show and cast is also at the fest) joked about the local pedestrian signals with his own version of Monty Python's silly walks. Mike E. Winfield said "you guys have the most arrogant homeless people I have ever seen." Tom Segura said: "I was walking in your sex shop district...what do you call it? Oh, Montreal." A couple of the NYC comics in the showcase, Julian McCullough and James Patterson, brought the city with them -- McCullough talking about his Brooklyn neighborhood ("no, not that part") and contrasting the on-field performances of Barry Bonds and Darryl Strawberry ("He'd snort the first base line!"); Patterson on moving to the South Bronx "because my girlfriend wanted to study music -- she played the jazz rape whistle." Nikki Glaser managed to skewer the sponsoring MySpace and won the audience over with some off-color material. Pat Candaras exhibited a Lewis Black attitude if he were a frustrated grandmother. Mike E. Winfield had the look, if not the material. Sheng Wang was a hit with his wit and his closing bit tilting the phrase "you could do better" on its head. Matt Braunger brought this showcase to a close with a very strong personality and a funny bit about killer owls. But really, host Tom Papa had the best sets of the night in between acts, showing the New Faces how it's done.