ABC's Shark Tank, the intriguing reality TV series that allows aspiring entrepreneurs to pitch their next great business ideas to a panel of wealthy tycoons who decide whether to invest in their ideas, is returning for a second season in 2011.
So why is comedian Jeff Foxworthy joining the panel of tycoons for three episodes next season? I'm smarter than a fifth grader, so I know that means he must be made of money, so I know that also means he might no longer be a redneck. If you've got a bright idea that could pull you out of Redneck Nation and into Fort Knox, check out Shark Tank's casting info and go for it.
Now if anything in that preceding paragraph rubbed you the wrong way or seemed like a poor turn of phrase, just remember this. It could've been worse. Much worse. Like, oh, say, this Miami Herald/Miami.com headline on a recent interview with Foxworthy. Can you guess what this story is really about?
You know what's so great about the 21st century? Celebrities don't have to worry about taking any hard-hitting questions anymore, because the Internet makes anyone with an Internet connection a star. Lights Camera Jackson is an 11-year-old "kid critic" of the movies, who already talks like he has been studying hours of TV footage of how "reporters" conduct interviews. And check out this get! Lights Camera Jackson has an exclusive sit-down with Larry the Cable Guy. You know, Mater from Cars? That's where everybody on the street knows Larry from, obviously. Who are these crazy old uncles of yours, Larry, and why are they crashing our interview? What's that? Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Engvall? Never heard of 'em. Are they going to be voicing any cars in Cars 2?
Look. I know it's unfair to be harsh toward an 11-year-old kid. After all, he should be just barely smarter than a fifth grader. What would he know about Larry's stand-up career, or even know what Larry's "B-cup" punchline even means? Of course he's a big fan of Cars. It's just one of those Mondays when I stare outside at the rain and wonder if this is the future of celebrity journalism, or if this is what celebrity journalism has been like all along, and it's just dawning on me now.
You can think whatever you want when you watch this interview. Roll it!