the comic's comic

SNL #35.9 with Taylor Lautner, Bon Jovi

Last week was great, wasn't it? Why are you starting like that? Trying to lower our expectations are you? Although, for the second week in a row, Kristen Wiig isn't so much front and center, giving the other ladies a chance to shine. Interesting development, don't you think? Alrighty then...

For our cold open, C-SPAN brings us Gov. Mar Sanford (R-SC) plus former Sen. John Edwards and some other politician from Nevada that I've never heard of, talking about how Tiger Woods and his scandal has overshadowed all of the infidelity these three politicians have engaged in -- which is more serious, as they remind us. Edwards had a love child! He'll say it again! And again! It's one of those political sketches that's as much about making a serious point as it is about getting laughs. Speaking of which: The discussion on A-Rod gets a bonus point.

Taylor Lautner is our host, and as one of my friends on Twitter pointed out, how would the third lead on a sequel to a movie I don't care about do as SNL host? That's right. Not RPattz (that's a person) nor Kristen LipBiter. It's Taylor Lautner , and he sure tried, even more than that other kid did, to show how athletic he is, jumping around and after missing a dropkick on a cardboard cutout of Kanye West, karate-chopped him out of the picture. Kudos for the dedication to athleticism, After all, he's only 17. 17! And the recasting of Kenan Thompson as Reba McIntire deserves some mention. So there that is! As monologues go, this one was tightly wrapped up in a bow. I'd forgotten (as perhaps you had) that Lautner was part of that MTV moment between Swift and West, so this was a nice way to deal with all of that.

We encounter the University of Oregon, taping their Rose Bowl bios, and well, before we can congratulate Thompson on his quick-change to make this sketch, there's a more pressing need, to figure out how Phil Pomeroy (Lautner), the backup to the backup QB, has a role here. Jenny Slate makes her first appearance of several this episode (YAY!). Bill Hader is there to help, presumably. You know how football telecasts have players look into the camera when they announce the starting lineups? Weird, right? That's the premise for this sketch. It has promise. It surely does. Please, don't call me surely. Because then someone might break into song for no reason. Andy Samberg shows up. "It's going to be a long day." Let's hope that's not foreshadowing!

SNL #35.8 with Blake Lively, Rihanna

I had my hopes up this weekend, not because Saturday Night Live featured two of the hottest young talents around (normally, that spells a formula for disaster rather than high comedy), but because, well, I don't know. That's not true. We saw such crazy real-life antics play out over the Thanksgiving break, plus the cast & crew that I know publicly acknowledged anticipating the broadcast, so perhaps they were ready to deliver a winner?

Of course, SNL opened with politics and before you get your panties up in a bunch about Fred Armisen's impersonation of President Barack Obama, know that this cold open wasn't even about him. It was about the Salahis, the D.C.-area White House party crashers who we all know we'll have to deal with on our TVs in 2010 as part of Bravo's "Real Housewives of D.C." SNL's take wisely played out mostly silently behind Obama as he tried to deliver a speech with the couple (Bobby Moynihan and Kristen Wiig, weirdly using some of her mannerisms for Kathie Lee Gifford in her miming to a Secret Service agent) conning the Secret Service (Bill Hader, Will Forte, Nasim Pedrad) and Vice President Joe Biden (Jason Sudeikis) into posing for snapshots. It helps if you focus as little as possible on whatever Armisen's Obama is saying. BTW, they had a couple of live ones in the audience tonight, didn't they? You can hear some big laughers on the microphones. Hot mics!

Now, don't feel bad if you don't know who guest host Blake Lively is because if you're not in her sisterhood of traveling blue jeans, nor watch "Gossip Girl," then you wouldn't know her. But as she walks out for her monologue, you get caught up pretty quickly. She's young, blonde and has a magically gravity-defying chest. Now. OK. The cast appears as the Muppets. Some think this is playing off of a recent new video of the Muppets singing Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." And while that is brilliant, I'm reminded more of John Denver and the Muppets, who created one of the best Christmas specials ever. Still. Ever! With Andy Samberg as the Swedish chef, Sudeikis as Fozzie Bear, Moynihan as Gonzo, Hader as Animal, Wiig as Beaker, and Jenny Slate as Janice and Fred Armisen as Zoot, they kick off the holiday season with a carol. Maybe won't get circulated as much as the actual Muppet video, but a worthy effort.

They replayed last month's "Carters N Sons BBQ" fake ad that poked fun at a "swine fever" ad campaign. Eh. I'm not usually a fan of when the show repeats fake ads, but I see why they do it sometimes. Swine fever is still timely. Plus, who knows. Maybe they had a new video air during dress rehearsal that didn't quite make the cut, and they needed to sub this in. Why am I making excuses for you kids?!

SNL #35.7 with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, DMB, Al Gore and a Mindy Kaling cameo

And we're back. When you have a show that most everyone agrees is a bit of a bummer, it's good to have another crack at it right away. So let's get to it, SNL! But first. Let's play a game. Here's a sketch from dress rehearsal that didn't make it into the actual broadcast -- watch host Joseph Gordon-Levitt with country music legends Clancy T. Bachleratt (Will Forte) and Jackie Snad (Kristen Wiig), then try to figure out where and when this should've aired instead of something that did. Spaceships, toddler, model T cars and jars of beer! Ready, set, watch!

I would've cut it by a minute and found room for it. How about you?

We open cold with a C-SPAN broadcast from China of President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) with Chinese President Hu Jintao (Will Forte?!?), and Nasim Pedrad is standing by as the translator. OK, this is weird. Did you know that we owe China $800 billion? Suddenly I feel less worrisome about being in debt myself. This is more funny scary than funny funny. Look at us, we're learning about the world through comedy! Plus, if you thought SNL liked to use gay sex as an easy joke, this at least gave it a bit of a twist. Right? Don't worry. I'm told the show gets much better after this.

And now a word from our host, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who started out in TV comedy as a kid on 3rd Rock From The Sun. I'm not sure why he's hosting now, but you and I might expect he'll be up to the task tonight. He sings "Make 'Em Laugh" for his monologue, and gets a slapstick assist from Bobby Moynihan. He's working hard early for you people! If nothing else, he and the show are out to prove that they mean business this week. Sorry about last week. We're back, people! We'll flip over backward for you.

SNL gets into the parody movie trailer mashup business with Palin 2012. It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine. Palin/Beck 2012!?

SNL #35.6 with January Jones, Black Eyed Peas (VIDEOS)

If you go by what the Internets were saying in real-time overnight, then last night's Saturday Night Live was a stinker. Of course, this all happens the one week I decide go to Los Angeles and don't park myself in front of a television. They know I'll still find out what happens on SNL, right? I'm still not sure exactly what happened when January Jones hosted with musical guest Black Eyed Peas, nor when, but I do know that these videos have shown up on the Internets. And the video evidence tells a slightly different story, unless I find out that these videos are from dress rehearsal, or that the real stinkfest came from the Black Eyed Peas, and not from the show itself. Suspense! While we wait for the truth to set us free, let's take a look at the evidence before us...

We're seeing less and less of Fred Armisen's Barack Obama impersonation, and tonight's show opened with Jason Sudeikis' Joe Biden instead, taking over the White House since President Obama headed to Asia on a diplomatic trip. Biden is supposed to be crazy honest, but was this version crazy honest funny?

January Jones has trouble reading off of her cue cards during her opening monologue. Sudeikis, Armisen and Bill Hadar play superfans of Mad Men called Mad Mennies. It's like that sketch from the 1980s when William Shatner took on the Trekkies, only not so much. Bonus points, though, for having Armisen pick Peggy (played by his real-life newlywed wife, Elisabeth Moss, over Jones' Betty Draper). Do we subtract points, however, for Sudeikis calling Betty Betsy? Oh, double bonus points for Abby Elliott as Joan Holloway (though subtract a point, perhaps, for making us think for a second that Christina Hendricks might've been making that cameo?). Math is hard. TWSS.

What else? Did you say you wanted fart jokes? Fart jokes? We got those...

Recapping SNL #35.5 with Taylor Swift

Whenever someone young hosts Saturday Night Live, I wonder if the show's sense of humor is going to get shaken up to appeal to the host's demographic. Of course, every host has an influence on what sketches make it to air. And 19-year-old Taylor Swift is a hard person to dislike -- has been ever since she serenaded Tim McGraw at an awards show with the song she named for him. Swift is talented and endearing. What would she do with her turn as both SNL's host and musical guest? Let's get to recapping!

Our COLD OPEN goes to FOX News Channel's Election Night coverage, with Kristen Wiig anchoring the anchor desk as the Botoxed Greta slurring words out of the corner of her mouth, Bill Hader as Shep Smith, Will Forte as Brit Hume, Kenan Thompson as Juan Williams, and Bobby Moynihan as Karl Rove. With Fred Armisen as the overlooked Democrat, Joe Trippi. Hader gave Shep some sass. But Jason Sudeikis as Glenn Beck is sublime and ridiculous. And Wiig may not be a ventriloquist, but did you see how her lips moved? Nice. Ended the sketch just in time.

TAYLOR SWIFT'S MONOLOGUE: Swift jokes about being just a kid, and how when she gets emotional, she writes a song. Would you like to hear it? La. La. La. Hahaha, Joe Jonas. "We have a great show. Kanye West is not here." Did you see what I meant about Swift being talented and endearing?

FAKE AD: Carter 'N Sons just wanted to get people excited about their pulled pork BBQ, so why not tell your customers they're going to come down with a severe case of "Swine Fever!" Oh, right. Did I mention that the introduction to our fake ad, and ensuing credits, note that this ad was produced in 2002 before the swine flu outbreak. So no worries when Moynihan's BBQ pitmaster sells Armisen on it, same with Nasim Pedrad, and Andy Samberg, and even Sudeikis in an Elvis impersonator get-up. Why 2002, you ask? Probably because Moynihan also was pushing the Sausage and Ribs Sampler. SARS!

SNL #35.4 with Gerard Butler, Shakira

Who's ready for a two-week vacation? Raise your hands, everybody! Some critics expect the SNL staff to have all of their funny material ready to go after a vacation because they've rested up, but that's not how it works in real life. You get back from vacation and the first day you're loaded up with junk, emails, phone calls and just getting your bearings, and before you know it, you're behind the rest of the week, playing catch up. Whereas the week heading into a vacation, you're looking forward to it and sometimes you do things you wouldn't normally do, just because, well, vacation is coming!

The Rock Obama. Whomever had the bright idea to bring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson back for a cameo to enliven SNL's Barack Obama sketches, thank you. Fred Armisen is immensely talented and funny, but his Obama sketches have mostly fallen flat (generating news is not the same as generating actual laughs). And when you have someone who, like Obama, actually is half-black and spent part of his childhood in Hawaii, along with ability to make Obama campy (thank his background from pro rassling for that). Nasim Pedrad played the president's assistant. Bill Hader, Will Forte and Jenny Slate played his Senate foils, while Jason Sudeikis as VP Joe Biden arrived just in time to save Slate's Olympia Snowe from The Rock's Hulk tantrum.

Gerard Butler is the host? Oh, right. Butler began with a nod to last week's monologue from Drew Barrymore, saying that he's the first Scotsman to host SNL, then reminded us that he sang in the film version of Phantom of the Opera -- all the while fighting off ancient attackers, a la 300. The studio audience seemed to enjoy it more when Kristen Wiig showed up at the end to sing with Butler.

Fake ad! Kenan Thompson plays Fuquay Satin, maker of fine urban champagnes, such as his newest creation, Grand Hoochie Skank Rose, especially designed to pour down a woman's ass. Because that's what hip-hoppers do, and they must be mocked for it.

Budweiser paid to be the sole sponsor, as Sudeikis tells us to open the first commercial break, but on the upside, he says we'll also get to see rare footage from dress rehearsals past, such as "Riding My Donkey Political Talk Show" from Feb. 14, 1998 -- with Will Ferrell, Ana Gasteyer, Darrell Hammond and Tim Meadows cracking up on donkeys.

SNL #35.3 with Drew Barrymore, Regina Spektor

How can a comedy show manage to be intriguing and also vaguely disappointing? Let's find out, shall we? Drew Barrymore celebrated her sixth time hosting Saturday Night Live, more than any other woman, as she told the audience last night. And yet, or perhaps, because of that fact, we had ourselves a more indulgent show -- for it has been said that the guest hosts can have enough influence to shape what gets in and stays off the air, and Barrymore certainly felt like she knew what she wanted to do this time around. Would it be funny?

Well. Can we just pretend the cold open didn't happen? When President Barack Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize on a Friday, SNL had a day and a half to slap something together. Which they did. They slapped something together. It will not win a Nobel, nor an Emmy. Nor more commentary from me. Congrats:

Drew Barrymore's monologue, however, deserves a few words. Still difficult to comprehend that SNL (not the Lorne Michaels edition) actually invited Barrymore to host the show in 1982 when she was only 7! But, still, also, props to her for doing this six times. Furthermore, nice of her to include most of the cast in a bit about her ancestors and their rich tradition of stage acting. The bit -- having them mimic Drew's mannerisms -- is cute, but not quite as over-the-top as the sketch that sent Christopher Walken to his family reunion. Didn't Abby Elliott already have a Barrymore impersonation in her arsenal? Yes. Yes, she did. Also: Kristen Wiig as Ethel, Bill Hader as cousin Vincent Price Malkovich Barrymore, Andy Samberg, Kenan Thompson. Present but not mimicking: Bobby Moynihan, Nasim Pedrad and Jenny Slate.

OK. Now what? Gilly. Wait. Who asked for Gilly?

SNL #35.2 with Ryan Reynolds, Lady Gaga and more!

How would Saturday Night Live deal with the hubbub and extra attention over the ending of last week's debut? Did you guess ignoring it completely? Did you also guess not letting Jenny Slate say a single word? Slate did appear in one live sketch and one SNL Digital Short, but otherwise, it was full speed ahead. In fact, this week's show offered plenty of its own pleasant surprises. Yes, much better! How much? Well...

Kristen Wiig showed she could be funny without being cliche crazy. Ryan Reynolds showed he could be funny as a supporting player. Lady Gaga proved herself a trooper in two live sketches, one of them also featuring another lady who makes people go ga-ga for her. Now that would have been an afterparty!

By the way, Weekend Update Thursday was much shrewder this past week -- decided to stick to the desk and not completely cannibalize the main Saturday edition by doing too much. Although plenty of opportunities for the cast to shine in celebrity impersonations. Among them: Whoopi Goldberg (Kenan Thompson) and Joy Behar (Fred Armisen) to expand upon Whoopi's awkward defense of Roman Polanski; Jason Sudeikis as a pilot colleague of Capt. "Sully." Suze Orman (Kristen Wiig); John Malkovich (Bill Hader) and Dennis Franz (Darrell Hammond), with Maya Rudolph also returning to appear as Oprah, talking up Chicago's Olympic bid and down on Rio; and Hall and Oates (Will Forte and Armisen) to sing about health care. Now, as for Saturday...

For our cold open, Fred Armisen's diminishing returns on President Barack Obama resulted in a speech about Obama's work performance that managed to echo his impersonation: "almost a year and not much to show for it." It was a sketch that played well to politicos and cable news folk, and proved that SNL is willing to make fun of Obama. But the show got much better from here. How much? Well...

Ryan Reynolds hosted. He's got comedy chops and we know he knows how to use them. The monologue compared his two summer movies (Wolverine and The Proposal), mining the comparisons for laughs. "If there's one thing that kids love, it's lanterns," he said, and after a pause, pointed into the audience. "That guy knows what I'm talking about."

SNL's 35th F-ing season debut with Megan Fox, U2

Sometimes, you see a date on the calendar and get excited about it. For me, on a personal note, Saturday night was my birthday. For Jenny Slate, it was her debut on NBC's Saturday Night Live. Neither of us ended up with the night we quite expected or dreamed it would be, but we both had a night to remember; Slate, a little more so.

For the record: I counted 61 mentions of frickin', frick, frig, friggin, freaking and f*ck in the sketch "Biker Chick Chat" that aired live at 12:42 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time on Sunday, Sept. 27, 2009. Jenny Slate wrote the sketch herself. It went completely fine during the dress rehearsal earlier Saturday night. There was no conspiracy. It was a slip of the tongue, pure and simple. Well, in as much as saying f*ck on live TV can be considered pure. Slate misfired on the 12th utterance of the profanity (so for you numbers fans, it wasn't unlucky number 13, but the dirty dozen that did her in), and after visibly catching her breath, she, Kristen Wiig and host Megan Fox continued with the talk-show sketch through its conclusion. SNL's head writer, Seth Meyers, also hugged Slate right behind Fox during the good-night thanks segment, and that pic is shown on NBC's own site so we can see the public sign of solidarity.

Within minutes (nay seconds, thanks to Twitter), the Internet was abuzz about Slate's slip, and multiple videos of the sketch appeared on the YouTubes. Rachel Sklar at Mediaite compiled more than a few of them and also noted the coincidence that U2's Bono was on the show (he had faced FCC complaints after he had dropped an F-bomb during a live awards show years ago). And in NYC, it was only just a few days ago it seems (because it was) that local FOX anchor Ernie Anastos misspoke during a live TV promo telling his co-worker to "Keep f*cking that chicken." He apologized and the world moved on. Slate should be fine, too.

Of course, the fact that that's what we're talking about and not Megan Fox or the show itself means that Slate's accident makes her debut a truly breakout performance. Because, let's face facts. The 35th season premiere of SNL otherwise was not going down in the record books as one of its best. But let's rewind back to 11:30 p.m. and get to a recap!

A word or two or more about SNL's Weekend Update Thursday #2.2

Everyone is gearing up for the official 35th season of Saturday Night Live, so let's use last night's Weekend Update Thursday as a chance to warm-up with a mini-recap.

Instead of a full-bore critique, just some initial thoughts. It's still beyond weird to hear anyone say "Live from New York, it's Saturday night!" when it's clearly Thursday. This must be so they can use the cold opens in repeats? Or merely stuck on tradition? Regardless, Fred Armisen's Barack Obama is starting to slip into original SNL territory, you know, back when Chevy Chase played Gerald Ford as someone who looked remarkably like Chevy Chase, or Dan Aykroyd's mustachioed Jimmy Carter. Their take on Obama's Sunday press run was funny enough, heightening the scene by expanding out to a full press junket for cable channels -- Kenan Thompson as ESPN's Stuart Scott (got the inane product-placement and patter down pat), newcomer Nasim Pedrad checked in as Kathy Griffin (kudos on nailing her debut, although odd that the hair people didn't go for a bolder red?), Jason Sudeikis as Glenn Beck was devastatingly hilarious, Kristin Cavallari is probably thrilled to be portrayed by Abby Elliott, as is Guy Fieri by Bobby Moynihan. Andy Samberg still plays young enough to be a teen-aged vampire. And Bill Hader's Keith Morrison makes me laugh every time. As for the Update desk, Seth Meyers tripped over one line, but completely sold the punch on a burrito joke with his shy downward look. Amy Poehler played Rosie Perez as a 911 dispatcher? Sure, why not. What else?

Armisen is much more effective and edgy playing embattled (and legally blind) New York Gov. David Paterson, who still loves to put down New Jersey. Darrell Hammond is back as Bill Clinton! And as you can see below, Megan Fox made a cameo, too! You can watch the whole thing right here, right now...

Brett Gelman's VH1 ad with Paula Abdul funnier than anything during MTV's VMAs

MTV asked British comedian Russell Brand to host the channel's Video Music Awards for a second straight year, but watching the show broadcast last night from NYC's Radio City Music Hall, you may have wondered why. Seriously. Why? Brand caused enough of a stir in 2008, I suppose, to earn his return. But his monologue and later quips this time around sounded more like the ramblings of a scatterbrained pervert (which, well, he has acknowledged his sex addiction publicly, again and again and again) than anything resembling a punchline. When he lovingly introduced Jimmy Fallon (with Andy Samberg), I thought about how Fallon had hosted an MTV shindig before and might have been a better choice for all parties concerned. Fallon and Samberg covering Boyz II Men was amusing, yes; Beyonce singing along, even more so. (And yes, we noticed how the Internets quickly mashed up Kanye West's VMA heckler routine with Obama's speech)

But this ad for this week's upcoming VH1 Divas, featuring comedian Brett Gelman as an agent for Paula Abdul, was funnier than anything that aired during the actual VMAs. Seacrest, out?

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Paul Rust at the 2009 MTV Movie Awards

While everyone was talking about Sacha Baron Cohen and Eminem after the 2009 MTV Movie Awards, I wanted to make sure you didn't miss this other moment, which gave comedian Paul Rust one last chance to shine in semi-anonymity. Rust will star in this summer's romantic comedy I Love You, Beth Cooper (out July 10), and also plays one of Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds (out Aug. 21). But for one minute live on MTV Sunday night, Rust could portray winning sound editor Carl Berman, who was so happy to get his Golden Popcorn that he humped, in glorious triumph, as long as he could.

So, here's the official trailer for I Love You, Beth Cooper, which stars Rust as the nerdy high-school valedictorian who publicly professes his love for the popular girl (Hayden Panettiere) in his graduation speech:

SNL #34 season finale with Will Ferrell, Green Day

The 34th season of Saturday Night Live certainly brought a lot of buzz and attention back to the show, and Lorne Michaels and company celebrated the end of that year with a bang that included plenty of starpower and nostalgia, plus a heavily implied farewell to Darrell Hammond, who completed his record thirteenth season as a cast member by returning for multiple sketches. We got to see Hammond reprise Dick Cheney and Sean Connery one last time on the show, and it's only surprising that we didn't get to also see him pull out his Donald Trump as well -- considering how much Trump was in the news with a certain Miss California (who could have been played by newbie Abby Elliott). But with star and SNL veteran Will Ferrell hosting, we saw just how much Ferrell mattered to the show earlier this decade, as he dominated the finale's proceedings from beginning to end. Even with all of the celebrity cameos and returning SNLers. Did I mention them yet? OK. We saw (take a deep breath now): Tom Hanks, Norm MacDonald, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Anne Hathaway, Paul Rudd, Elisabeth Moss and Artie Lange. With all of this happening, the current cast had much less on their plates to worry about. Good? Bad? It'll almost all make sense soon enough.

But first, a cold open from an NBC studio, and in the makeup chair getting ready for Meet the Press is one disgraced newly former VP Dick Cheney (Hammond), with Abby Elliott playing the makeup specialist. Ferrell shows up as his now Tony-nominated caricature of George W. Bush, trying to surprise Cheney and confront him about his newfound desire for media attention. Surprise fails because W. whispers too loudly: "That is one of the many reason I am no friend to libraries." Zing. We get it. They also poke fun at the current administration when W. asks why Cheney couldn't have been more like VP Joe Biden, going out for burgers and saying dumb things in public to make him look smarter. W. implies he has been watching a lot of Dr. Phil with his free time this spring. An OK, utterly predictable sketch, held together by the performances of the leads.

Ferrell's monologue attempts to re-establish his cred as a dramatic actor with roots in the theater, also with predictably disastrous results. Again, it's only Ferrell's sheer persistence that sells it. "Line?"

Talk about nostalgia. Our ad spoof for the night goes deep into the vault (Season/episode #26.11) for an oldie in which Ferrell sells his services as Wade Blasingame, Esq., attorney at law. Blasingame has sued more than 2,000 dogs. Because would you let a human do the things dogs get away with every day? Chris Parnell simulates the dog in scenes with Hammond, Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Tracy Morgan and Horatio Sanz. If you want to look for such things, you might even notice that the way Ferrell, in particular, delivers his lines can suggest that SNL knew how to deliver lines awkwardly before a certain Tim & Eric came along (instead of the other way around). Anyhow.

Rounding up the early SNL finale coverage

Saturday Night Live puts a bow on its 34th season on May 16, and before it's a wrap, some folks in the mainstream media and the Internerds have given us some new profiles and stats to ponder.

• Vanity Fair chatted up newbie "featured player" Abby Elliott.
• Kristen Wiig talked to People about being named one of People's "Most Beautiful People," and there is video evidence of this. 
• USA Today profiled Andy Samberg, considering he's also hosting a special SNL showcase of digital videos and shorts that airs on Sunday, May 17.
• Buzzine talked to SNL writer John Mulaney (who has appeared briefly in two sketches and should, if all is right in the world, be seen much more often as a cast member), getting to him reveal more about his childhood obsession with ye olden times. 
• In case you missed it, this recent interview with Will Forte has some interesting nuggets of insight. 
• The paper in Syracuse, NY, talked with native girl and newbie Michaela Watkins. And then some more. 
• Want to know who has done what this season up until now? Mark Graham at New York mag's Vulture blog broke SNL's 34th season down, by the numbers. 

SNL #34.22 with Justin Timberlake, Ciara

Or should I say, SNL #34.22 with Justin Timberlake, Jimmy Fallon, Susan Sarandon, Patricia Clarkson, Zachary Quinto, Chris Pine, Leonard Nimoy and Ciara? After some time away, Saturday Night Live returned with a flurry of celebrity cameos, as if to remind us that to be culturally relevant, you need to not only watch this show, but also appear upon it.

But first. We opened cold with politics (and considering everyone in politics and the press was in D.C. celebrating at the White House Correspondents Dinner, it may be a day or two before they pick up on any of this). Will Forte as Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner announces the feds decided to issue a written test to banks in addition to the "stress test," but had difficulties coming up with a fair grading system. The result may be obvious, but the writers had more fun with the false answers some of the banks penciled in for the 50-question test. Watch:

Now then...onto the show. Justin Timberlake took his third turn as SNL host, but if you think he has been on much more than that, well, you're right, because Timberlake has made multiple cameos in the past year. He is so, so comfortable there. So comfortable, in fact, that as he sang his opening monologue, he had a quick comeback for a fan's shout-out, and hopped into the lap of...who was that, again? Guy looked liked a cross between George Clooney and Jon Hamm, without being either of them. Weird. Moving on. I think the cast of SNL gets as excited for writing for and performing with Timberlake as he does for joining them. How does this excitement translate into comedy?

SNL #34.21 with Zac Efron, Yeah Yeah Yeahs

So Zac Efron hosted this week's edition of Saturday Night Live, and we knew there would be at least one if not more High School Musical references to be satirized, but what else could we look forward to? And yes, I ended my first question with a preposition. What of it? Let's get to the recap. By the way, if you're expecting Efron to distinguish himself or extinguish himself, then please do not place your bets. That's not to say all will be lost. Alrighty then!

We opened with Vice President Biden (Jason Sudeikis) acting all too comfy in the oval office. Sure, of course. Biden has been in the news. Why not give Biden an open. President Obama (Fred Armisen) returns from his European trip, but no gifts for Biden. I get what they're going for here, but, well, whatevs.

The monologue poked fun at Zac Efron's limited demographic appeal. First, his tween fangirls wouldn't be up this late. Second, a couple of his fans (Abby Elliott, Kristen Wiig) are in the crowd, along with a non-tween (Armisen), and they all want to show how much they lurve him. OK. Well. Yeah.

No fake ad. But there is a fake ad. P.J. Bland's is really Ch-ch-ch-chili's. Yes. I noticed. So did many, I believe. (P.J. Blands has set up a fake site and Twitter, really).

We get another look at the fourth hour of The Today Show on NBC, aka the crazy hour with Hoda Kotb (Michaela Watkins) and Kathie Lee Gifford (Wiig). Gifford had her first anniversary on the show this past week, so SNL skewers that, with Gifford and Kotb drinking (again), and a musical performance by Gifford's son, Cody (Efron). If you have watched this in real life, then you know that almost every segment is worth mocking. This effort is not quite as crazy, although it does give SNL a chance to offer up impersonations of celebs sending well-wishes to Gifford, including Penny Marshall (Armisen). OK. Just Marshall.

SNL #34.20 with Seth Rogen, Phoenix

Please forgive me if my excitement was neither fast nor furious over the prospect of a second hosting gig for Seth Rogen at the helm of Saturday Night Live. I simply have not jumped on the bandwagon that everything Rogen (or, for that matter, the Judd Apatow crew) touches turns to comedy gold. And if, as you recall, Rogen/Apatow films don't exactly give women much of a role to play other than furthering the bromances, this might help guide you. So with expectations sufficiently diminished, perhaps I would be in for a treat this weekend...

And yet, the cold open did not start things on the right foot. We began with a message from President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen), and from the get-go, Armisen's vocal impersonation was not up to par. Not sure why. But it just wasn't there. The premise, that Obama taking a break from the European lovefest had to prove that the hands-on approach to the auto industry was not a fluke by announcing he'd make rulings on individual companies in every other industry, had merit. But what followed just seemed so random. Like a series of non sequiturs, with Armisen's Obama weighing in on major American companies in riding lawnmowers, air conditioners, blue jeans, coffee makers, light bulbs (GE alert!), reclining chairs, baseball gloves, toothpastes, frozen shrimp, ballpoint pens, trench coats, plastic vomit, window shades, mens underwear, colleges, NFL teams, stroke magazines, and soft drinks. A couple of chuckles, but just due to the randomness of it all.

The monologue gave Seth Rogen a chance to acknowledge his weight loss -- "For one thing, I lost about one million pounds" -- and also other things that had changed since the first time he hosted SNL. Rogen learned how to pronounce Lorne's name. The writers have stopped helping him write the monologue, which he used as the excuse to take questions from "the audience": Kristen Wiig mocked him for doing a mall cop movie right after Paul Blart, while Jason Sudeikis took the cue-card material to a higher level by outright mocking him, Bill Hader appeared as Rogen's angry pizza delivery guy (read: weed delivery guy), and Bobby Moynihan appeared as a guy angry because Rogen's weight loss ruined his game as a guy who impersonated Rogen to pick up the ladies (he had to switch it up to Jonah Hill to hit on Abby Elliott's audience member character).

Instead of a fake ad in this slot, we got a fake movie ad, and, hello, if you know anything about the movie canon of Seth Rogen, you know it's full of bromantic gayish without being gay comedies. So why not have Rogen and Andy Samberg act as if they're going to make out in a trailer for The Fast and The Bi-Curious, with Elliott on the sidelines as the hottie they're nottie interested in. Knowing these guys makes it less of a surprising choice, but does it lessen the comedic impact? I don't know.

SNL #34.19 with Tracy Morgan, Kelly Clarkson

We could call this the week that everything old is new again. Because it is! In a good way? Let's see in the SNL recap...(videos added when available)

COLD OPEN: Tracy Morgan on video describing the energy from being in Rockefeller Plaza on a Saturday night. He came in 12 years ago as a puppy and left as a man! "This is my building! This is my home!" Cue the problems getting into back into his home. As someone who recently watched Morgan host a TV special, I can see why they didn't even attempt to do this live -- for one thing, the building has so much activity going on during the day that'd it be tough to shoot; and for another, Morgan's opening speech probably took a couple of takes. That said, it's not a political sketch! We already have established an early victory tonight, and this is before anyone has said, "Live from New York, it's Saturday night!" OK. Where were we? In the NBC lobby/foyer/security area. Berserker! Tracy starts clobbering his way into the building, past security, past fans in the elevator, past the NBC page who's really SNL writer and humorous book author Simon Rich! But can he get past pro rassler John Cena? And...now we're live. Tina Fey cameo!?

Let's get this party started!

THE MONOLOGUE: "Thank you, white people!" Right off the bat, Morgan makes a so funny because it's true statement that reflects the surreality of the situation. In tonight's show, he'll likely appear in more sketches than he did during his seven-year run in the SNL cast! He clarifies his fish tank apartment fire, making fun of how the mainstream press portrayed his accident. Does this slideshow look ghetto? Morgan calls Lorne Michaels "my Obi-Wan Kenobi." Interesting to see both Michaels and Seth Meyers holding glasses of wine, because, well, isn't the show on the air right now? They just couldn't wait until 1 a.m., I suppose.

AD SPOOF -- CHEWABLE PAMPERS: They've recycled ads in past years, so it's not as if I can fault them for it now. Or can I? (No, I cannot) Stars Kristen Wiig and Jason Sudeikis.

BRIAN FELLOW'S SAFARI PLANET: And one of Morgan's SNL characters gets first dibs tonight, with voiceover introduction from Darrell Hammond. Fellow's first guest is a baby cow (with Sudeikis as the calf's owner). Something about having live farm animals on live TV (and not on a talk-show with professional handlers) tends to led to unexpected funnies. A red-tailed halk (on Andy Samberg's arm) makes Fellow say his catchphrase: "That's crazy!" And some silly questions. Fellow gets distracted by imaginary conversations with animals. It all plays perhaps a bit funnier than before simply because Morgan has established such a reputation for crazy during his 30 Rock phase that we hear his line readings differently now. At least that's my first impression of it.

SNL #34.18 with Dwayne Johnson, Ray LaMontagne, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel

Saturday Night Live returned last night after two weeks off with a fresh case of spring fever and a ham sandwich of a host, and although I cannot say that any of the sketches are instant classics, I can say that the entire show was at least fairly funny from start to finish, and that is quite commendable. This also marks the first time that almost the entire show is available for viewing online. Wow. Let's get to recapping!

COLD OPEN: We start with politics, as usual. I'm beginning to wonder when was the last time SNL opened the show without something political. It is possible, right??? Meanwhile, back in parody reality, Will Forte as Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner blamed it all on the Bush administration and offered a $420 billion reward to anyone with a plan to solve America's banking crisis, broken down by what would happen if more than one person had the plan. But what if six people had the idea? Still working on the numbers for that. Geithner takes callers, who disagree with one another. Caller three asks for the money first, then the idea. He scams a third of the money out of Geithner. Caller four gets Geithner to joke about how "everyone" has to pay taxes (he didn't). Caller five is a Nigerian prince scammer. Of course he gets some money from the government.

MONOLOGUE: The Rock's third time hosting, notes he has beaten Tony Danza, now tied with Rob Lowe. Jokes his nine-year transformation has gone so well, he didn't get cast in "The Wrestler." He breaks into song, singing how he's still tough. Flanked by Abby Elliott and Kristen Wiig in black lingerie. Kenan Thompson "hits" him with a chair, for a seductive chair dance. Fred Armisen plays his effiminate trainer/choreographer/roommate.

MACGRUBER: With MacGyver (Richard Dean Anderson)! Wiig plays the assistant Vicky as always. Wait a second. Isn't this what they did in that Pepsi Super Bowl ad that got everyone riled up? Not quite. This time, it's an actual MacGruber sketch, as MacGyver as "new guy" waxes nostalgic in a flashback (10 seconds?!) to when he and his missus (Elliott) give birth to a boy in an abandoned hospital in December 1972. Jason Sudeikis plays the doc. And MacGyver names him MacGruber. MacGruber MacGyver. Plot twist! But wait, there's more. Michaela Watkins plays the assistant to MacGyver and...

Here comes easily the best scene that you knew was coming, almost.

SNL #34.17 with Alec Baldwin, Dan Aykroyd, Cameron Diaz, Jonas Brothers

If I had a time machine, I would go back a week to give the Saturday Night Live staff a head's up that they could really just go ahead and start their two-week vacation a week early. Because, really. We did not need to see that. Twas Valentine's Day, and any lovebirds would not be tuned to their TVs, and any singletons would need an escape, and where was SNL to be found? I think they took a page from the Lost plotbook, and not a wild and wacky page, either. The show seemed lost, flashing forward and backward through time -- even the Hulu.com page has fallen victim to this, adding old Alec Baldwin sketches and claiming they were part of the Feb. 14, 2009 show. Sir Mix-A-Lot, a female Perez Hilton, Vincent Price (I usually like the Vincent Price sketches, but still). What year are we? Help me, Doc Faraday! That's not even counting the bizarre ending to the show. Right from the cold open, we knew we were in for trouble, though...